Rising Moon: Entry | Teen Wolf ( 1 )

Battlefield

"You know when you're drowning, you don't actually inhale until right before you black out. It's called voluntary apnea. It's like no matter how much you're freaking out, the instinct to not let any water in is so strong that you won't open your mouth until you feel like your head's exploding. But then when you finally do let it in, that's when it stops hurting. It's not scary anymore. It's - it's actually kind of peaceful." I murmured quietly in a thoughtful voice as I crossed my legs underneath myself on the chair and gazed out the window to the side of the room in Coral Button Through Tie Front Top, TOPSHOP MOTO Authentic Ripped Skinny Jeans, River Island Grey slub knit dolman cardigan and Sueded Side Bow Mary Jane Pump with my brunette hair in a messy side plait.

"Are you saying you hope Matt felt some peace in his last moments?" Ms Morrell asked me softly from the other side of her desk in the guidance office at the high school and I turned my head slightly to look at her with a faint smile. It had been a few days since the night Matt had held us hostage at the police station, a few nights since I had been shot, a few nights since Scott had accidently revealed to our mother the truth about werewolves and the day after we found out that Matt had drowned the same night.

"I don't feel sorry for him."

"Can you feel sorry for the nine year old Matt who drowned?" she asked me curiously as she tilted her head to the side with a smile playing on her lips and I pursed my lips together as I thought about the story Matt had told us that night in the police office.

"Just because a bunch of dumbasses dragged him into a pool when he couldn't swim doesn't really give him the right to go off killing them one by one." I said firmly as I shook my head slightly at the thought and I smirked a little as I leaned forward on the chair. "Your brother recommended that I talk to you. I don't trust easily, but I trust him."

"I'm surprised that he suggested that you come to me, you are his favourite student." She replied in the same soft voice but I could hear the vague trace of bitterness in her voice as her pupils tightened slightly and I sighed to myself as I untangled my legs from underneath me.

"He mentions you." I told her honestly as I leaned forward to catch her gaze and her eye widened slightly in surprise as she swallowed. "I did some research on you before I came in, Marin. You graduated top of your class at Vancouver University with a master's degree in behavioural psychology, minoring in French. You have over 300 hours of field work under your belt. I also know that you're a Druid Emissary, to which pack I don't think I want to know."

"How about we get back to you?" Marin suggested quickly as she leaned forward on the desk and I smiled victoriously as I sat up in my chair. I tilted my head to the side in consideration as I studied her carefully constructed expression and she quirked an eyebrow at me expectantly as she folded her hands on the desk.

"I'm fine. Yeah, aside from the not sleeping, the jumpiness, the constant, overwhelming, crushing fear that something terrible about to happen. It's called hyper-vigilance, the persistent feeling of being under threat. But it's not just a feeling, though. It's - it's like it's a panic attack. You know, like I can't even breathe." I explained sincerely as I blinked back the tears that had filled my eyes when I was speaking and I took a breath to remind myself that I wasn't actually drowning.

"Like you're drowning?" she asked me knowingly as she tilted her head to the side and I nodded in agreement as I tapped my finger my on thigh. "So if you're drowning, and you're trying to keep your mouth closed until that very last moment, what if you choose to not open your mouth? To not let the water in?"

"You do anyway. It's a reflex."

"But if you hold off until that reflex kicks in, you have more time, right?"