Where's your head

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I don't want to walk away; don't want this night or this magic to end. A small voice in the back of my head is constantly worried that whatever is happening between Levi and I can only exist under the magic of these stars and will never survive the harsh light of day.

We walked side by side back to the parking lot. Our hands barely tapping against each other as if engaged in a game of tag. The small hairs on my arms rise with each brush of his skin on mine.

Moments ago, we had crossed a line. Our tongues now knew what it felt like to dance and our bodies knew the feel of the other pressed against us. I could deny the warmth that was swimming through my veins if I wanted to, but with a line crossed, a new line was drawn and I wasn't sure where that was yet.

How far was this going? Should I be the one who closes the distance and twines his fingers with mine? Or would that be pushing the spirit of keeping it between us on the down low? We just started, I don't want to scare him away.

But I'm the reason it's on the down low, the voice reminded me.

Of course, I was right. Levi had only said we could keep it between us because I wasn't ready to be out yet. So was I really afraid of scaring him away or was I afraid I'd scare myself away?

I didn't have an answer to that but an awkward laugh from Levi saved me before my thoughts could dive deeper.

"Care to share?" I asked, playfully bumping his shoulder with mine, in what I hope was a flirty gesture.

My heart jumped and a small smile overtook my lips when he laughed again, turning his hazel eyes to look at me. My throat felt thick and my lips and tongue tingled with remembrance, almost begging for an encore; begging to be reminded that it did in fact happen and this isn't a dream.

"I was just thinking that tonight didn't go as expected," Levi stopped just before the illumination of the parking lot lights would wash over us.

My eyes immediately met his and it set every one of my nerves humming in excitement. Like all he had to do was whisper my name and I would ignite.

I could practically feel the shiver getting ready to roll up my spine as his fingers reached out and grasped my own.

My mind went over every possible meaning of his comment that I could think of, but Levi is amazing at stopping my thoughts in their tracks.

Gently, as if he were just as afraid as I that the moment would disappear, he brought our joined hands to his lips and pressed them to my skin.

"I mean, I had every intention of telling you I needed to stay away and prayed I wasn't about to ruin whatever friendship we were starting to create. I had hoped that you felt the same but I honestly was beginning to think that it was all in my head. A fantasy of wishful thinking." the intense look in his eyes had my breath catching in my throat and I had to focus on my breathing before I hyperventilated.

Dammit! How does he make me want to say to hell with the consequences and just crash his lips to mine?!

He and this moment are so close to perfect I have to remind myself for the millionth time that this isn't a dream.

Words were failing me so I did the one thing that I knew would be enough of a response. I cupped his jaw in my hand and I leaned in for a slow kiss.

The kind of kiss that can only be described as mind-bending. Every emotion bubbling right under the surface of my skin and I want to just scream the truth from the top of my lungs.

"Brandon!" I jolted at the sound of my name being yelled and flinch when I see a baseball glove flying towards me.

I shoot Gunner a death glare as he runs towards me, his baseball cap turned backward on his head. Something I never understood. It's supposed to keep the sun out of his eyes, that's literally the purpose, and yet he wears it backward and squints the entire practice.

"Where's your head, B?" he shouts, grabbing his glove off the ground near my feet where it landed.

I shake my head, removing my glove as I run my hand through my hair. I know exactly where my head is and I need to push it aside. Yes, I'm excited to be Levi's... well we didn't talk about labels.

I don't even know that we're near a place to talk about labels, but i can't stop thinking about the tingling of my lips even hours later.

"Brandon!" this time, Gunner's glove hit my chest, but had he missed from how close he was, that would have been a whole different issue.

"I'm sorry, Gun, I've got a lot on my mind," my hand scratches the back of my head and I hope that he doesn't ask too many questions.

I don't feel like trying to come up with an adequate lie.

Gunner shifts on his feet, looking around the field as the rest of the team continues to warm up.

"Look B, if you ever want to talk or something..." He trails off, turning to face me, "I mean you're my best friend and I'm here for you, even if you want to TP Miles' house."

I can't help it, I laugh. Of all the things I was worried Gunner might say or ask, offering to toilet paper Miles house wasn't one of them. He really is a special breed all his own.

"Thanks, man, but I'll pass," I laugh lifting my fist to bump his own.

"Alright, but the offer has no expiration date. He did you dirty with Lucy, and I'm down whenever you're ready," He looks me dead in the eye before cracking his signiture grin, "In the mean time, get your head in the practice or next it's the ball coming towards your face."

<3 <3 <3 <3

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