Switching Teams (BoyxBoy) (Completed)

Mountains

It's kind of a trip to see how far I've come from only a few months ago. I mean, had someone told me back when I first got the stupid idea to 'date' Lucy, that this was the road I would end up down, I seriously wouldn't have believed them.

A small part of me was honestly beginning to think that I would never be here. It's like driving a really long distance and seeing the mountains in the distance. You see them, acknowledge that you're moving towards them, but no matter how many miles you cover, they never seem to be closer. Then suddenly, there you are, the distance covered and the mountain behind you.

It's hard to believe that I made it. I've covered the distance and reached where I never thought I'd be. Though I still have miles to go, it won't make me any less proud of the progress I've made.

I sit in my jeep, staring at the school, trying to drum up the energy to deal with classes today. Truth is my mind couldn't be further away from scholastic activities.

In fact, my mind is almost exactly four miles away, probably getting ready for his classes as well.

I shake my head, my eyes trying to avoid my phone sitting on the passenger seat next to me.

I haven't talked to Levi since Saturday outside his house. It's not a matter of not wanting to call or text him either. When I left Gunner's house yesterday, my finger hovered over his contact ready to dial him and tell him how it went. I can't even count the number of times I started a text message only to delete it instead of sending it.

No, what's stopping me is one hundred percent fear. Fear of rejection - of losing the one thing that I want more than I think I've ever wanted anything before.

I know he loves me, I know it the same way I know that the sun will rise. It's just a matter of showing him that I'm worthy of his love.

I fucked it up once and that was one too many times.  I asked him to give me a chance to prove myself and that's what I'm going to do.

So here I sit, at the metaphorical crossroads, wondering how far I have to go to show him?

I've come out to the few that matter the most to me.

True, my friends and my teammates are important to me but when we graduate, we'll mostly all lose contact with each other.

My eyes scanned the kids standing outside of the school, all laughing and talking in their cliques. It's so easy to feel like the king of the world when you're with your group.

It's an invincibility that we let blind ourselves into believing will last forever. We tell each other that these high school friendships will last forever, but that's not the case.

The sad reality is in high school, we don't really know who we are. It's still a lesson we have to learn and this phase of the journey is what links us as friends.

Right now, we are all set on the same goal - get out of high school as fast as we can and move onto the next stage.

What we don't acknowledge is that the next part of the journey will divide these friendships.

Sure, maybe we'll stay friends on Facebook, liking each other's pictures and feigning mild interest in where each other's lives have gone.

But inevitably, they will mostly become the funny stories of our youths and the inevitable 'when I was younger' lessons we pass to the next generation.

There is usually an exception. One person who slips past the rest and becomes irreplaceable no matter what phase of the journey you're on. 

Words cannot express how thankful I am that Gunner didn't push me away. He's my exception. The friend that I hope to have barbeques with one day, with our families surrounding us as we reminisce about our high school days.