Switching Teams (BoyxBoy) (Completed)

Sucker Punch

The crowd was on their toes tonight as Findley high fought us for the win. The dugout was quiet as we all watched as the Findley batter struck out fort he thrid time.

It was our turn to bat and I patted Gunner on his shoulder as he readied himself to take home plate. Tension could be felt in the air, both teams wanted this, but none of us were willing to give up.

my eyes searched the sea of faces. I swore I wasn't looking for Levi, but every time I couldn't find him, it hurt a little. I sighed and looked back to Gunner just as the pitcher threw a fastball.

Gunner hit the ball with a resounding thwack before making a beeline for first base. The crowd around the field cheered as he ran. My eyes followed his movement, my hands clapping in excitement until I saw him.

Levi stood near the snack bar, looking even more extraordinary under the bright lights of the field. My heart did a little jig and a part of me kept hoping that he would turn his head just a little more right because then he would see me.

I couldn't take my eyes off of him and I had to fight a stupid smile as I continued to watch him. It took a good minute to realize he wasn't standing at the snack bar alone. In fact, he looked as if he was mid-argument with Lucy.

It's weird to watch people argue from a distance. Levi kept pointing at Lucy and I could tell by his face that he was serious about whatever he was saying. Even Lucy was using her hands in wild gestures as she responded.

My heart sped up as my mind started coming up with different scenarios that they could be discussing. Perhaps it was simply about getting a hot dog from the booster club snack bar or if they should drive-thru on their way home.

It would be stupid to think that they would be so passionate about dinner, but a guy can hope right.

Levi said something and I watched as Lucy threw her hands up in surrender, shook her head and walked away from him. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw another guy step up to the plate, readying himself for the pitch.

I should pay attention to the game, especially a game as important as this one, but I couldn't take my eyes of Levi. His hands ran through his hair before settling on his hips. His head turned towards the field and I could feel his eyes seeking mine. It was like he's metal and I'm his magnet.

He was too far away to get a read on his expression but as another thwack rang through the air, I felt my stomach drop. Even I could see a storm coming in the distance.

*

We won the game, but just by one run. It had been a nail biter, right up until Caleb stole home. Once we were in the lead, we made sure that Findley couldn't get a run.

The field was chaos as the entire team ran out to celebrate. We jumped, high-fived and patted Caleb on the back all while cheers continued in the stands. This is part of what I love about sports.

The camaraderie. We all unite, under the incredibly bright lights for a single goal and when we achieve it. Well, I venture to say it's the best adrenaline rush there is.

And Levi was here to see it.

Somehow that makes the victory even sweeter. Especially when I see the man that haunts my every thought walking towards me, with my favorite dimpled smile.

His arms reach out like he's going to hug me and for a second, I want to reach back and feel his arms wrap around me. But I don't.

Instead, I reach my hand out and make it look like we're high fiving.

"Congrats, B" I can see the disappointment in Levi's eyes at my actions but he doesn't call me out on it.

My eyes move over the field, estimating just how close we to others that could be in earshot.

"Thanks, glad you could come," I smile and glance once more, satisfied that no one is paying too much attention to us I say quietly, "Is everything okay with you and Lucy? I saw you at the snack bar, looked like you were arguing?"

Levi looks at me for a second before a soft smile crosses his lips, "I came out to my family last night."

My lungs seized as I processed what he was saying. My guess is this is what a sucker punch feels like. Completely out of the blue and knocks the wind right out of you, leaving you gasping for air until the panic attack sets in.

Who needs to breathe anyway, right?

Levi is out of his closet and Lucy, my technical ex-girlfriend knows. The pieces to this puzzle are too painfully obvious and if Lucy hasn't figured out that Levi has a boyfriend then it won't be long until she does.

And where does that brick road lead? Right smack into the wizard himself. Me.

"Brandon?" I didn't even realize that I had taken a step back until Levi took a small step forward, arm outstretched to reach for me.

"I, um," my mind had completely blanked as my eyes flitted around the field.

It's completely irrational that I suddenly think people are talking about me, but I can't help? That kid over there by the fence laughing - is he laughing at me?

Gunner talking to Cara and Delaney by the pitchers' mound - Do they know? Are they talking about Levi and me? It doesn't help when Cara and Gunner look my way at seemingly the same time.

"Talk to me, Brandon, Please." My eyes snap back to Levi, my mouth working to say something - anything - but my lungs can only force out one word.

"Why?" Levi recoiled slightly as if I had slapped him and wounded eyes stared back at me.

It pained me to know that I put that hurt there, but I'm panicked and I kind of hate it.

How is it that I know I am being irrational and know that I am panicking, but still can't stop myself? It's like watching the tornado head straight for me but not being able to move.

"I did it for me, Brandon, I felt like I was living a lie. Like I couldn't be free." Levi's voice is soft but I can hear the plead in his voice.

He wants me to understand what he feels and why he did it.

He doesn't see that I do understand. That I know the misery that is being in the closet and feeling like your life is a lie. He doesn't see that I know the freedom he is talking about because I have seen it -felt it first hand - every time I'm alone with him.

But I'm not ready to be out. I'm not ready to be judged for nothing more than who I love.

"I ca-" My voice breaks as I take another step away from him, "I can't. I'm not ready,"

"You don't have to be," desperation clung to Levi as he stepped forward again, but I took another step back, "Brandon, Please don't walk away from me."

My head swarmed with thoughts, my heart pounding in my chest as I held Levi's gaze. I had always felt so safe with him.

I could be free with him and he shouldn't be punished for wanting that same freedom in his everyday life. I knew without a doubt that Levi wouldn't push me into something I wasn't ready for. It could really be that simple if I just told him how I feel.

"Levi," my attention diverted to Lucy who was walking towards us with Miles. I see Levi flinch but he doesn't look, his focus on me.

My heart dropped to my stomach and all my fears came rolling back. The pieces that Lucy needs to figure out the truth staring her in the face. I feel my head shaking as I mouthed 'I'm sorry' before turning on my heel.

But as I walked towards the locker room, it occurred to me that the brick road leads to the cowardly lion. And that seems more fitting a title for me.

<3 <3 <3 <3