Down For The Count

The Eye of the Hurricane

Paisley's POV

I

am

an

idiot

"Okay...okay...a minor setback in our plans. I'll just...I'll call my lawyer in the morning and we can...um...get everything figured out." Lin breathed out. I closed my eyes as tight as I could, feeling like I was gonna cry and vomit.

"This is all my fault." I said quietly, burying my head in my hands. Can I do anything right?

"Stop blaming everything on yourself, Skipper, there's nothing you-"

"I visited him when we were in California and l pretended to be sick and then I looked up the court case about my parents fighting over my custody and then I found more information and he was a doctor and was doing some speech at this place in downtown LA so I found the address and-"

"Woahhhhh, slow down, kid." Lin said, cutting off my rambling. I took a deep breath, ready to try again.

"I went to go see him when we were in California...and it was stupid, and I didn't even think he would recognize me-"

"Why...why would you do that..." Lin asked quietly. I shut my eyes, feeling tears spilling out. Of course he wouldn't understand. Why would I have expected that he would?

"I needed closure." I said, hating the hurt look on Lin's face when I said that.

"Closure? Closure?! He left you, Paisley, you don't need closure, that's all there is to it." Lin snapped.

"I know, I know, and I'm sorry. I just thought-"

"You thought that maybe he'd finally come and get you so you could escape the hellhole we've created for you, right? We just suck that bad?" Lin asked. No idiot, just hear me out oh my god. He's making me sound like a terrible person and...okay well I am a terrible person, but still...

"No! I promise I love it here, I didn't think he'd recognize-"

"Are you serious?! You're his daughter Paisley, why wouldn't he fucking recognize you?!" Lin snapped. And jeez he was mad. He's always so stupid and bubbly. I guess I really do bring out the worst in people.

"I'm sorry, okay? I'm such an idiot and I swear I never meant for anything like this to happen or get this far or-"

"Please just stop." Lin said quietly, pulling out and driving home. The car ride was tense, me crying and Lin mumbling a number of profanities under his breath. The Kelly Clarkson CD blaring through the speakers didn't help either, but it was good to have some type of background noise or the silence would have probably killed me.

What would I do if my dad actually gained custody? Would I have to move to California? Would I...would I ever be able to see Lin and Vanessa and Alex and-

I cried harder at the thought. I can't go. Oh God what did I do?

"Stop crying, this is what you wanted. You did this to yourself." Lin mumbled, pulling onto a familiar street and stopping in front of the Richard Rodgers.

"Why-"

"Usually I only have to deal with my lawyer when it's theatre related, all my paperwork is in my office. I'll be out in ten." Lin explained, shutting the door and walking away. I sighed, continuing to cry as I pulled my knees to my chest and hugged myself. What comes next?