Down For The Count

Alex

Alex's POV

"Your blood pressure is a bit too low for my liking, but everything else looks great. Your heart is back in rhythm, ultrasound was clear, you should be good to go in no time." The doctor smiled. Dad sighed out in relief, looking very happy. I know how nerve wracking this was for him.

"So...no surgery?" Dad asked hopefully. The doctor's grin widened as he shook his head.

"No surgery this time."

"See, Dad, I told you it would work out." My oldest sister Macie said, still looking a bit shaken.

"I said this time." The doctor corrected, scribbling something on his clipboard. "These heart attacks you keep having are not good. I can't promise that next this happens surgery won't be required."

"It's all those fatty foods you eat." Mom nagged, causing Dad to chuckle a little.

"Well I'll leave you all be, and I'll get your discharge papers ready." The doctor said, walking out of the room.

I felt like crying.

Yesterday my dad has a heart attack, one of my best friends is trying to kill herself.

What's next? My house caves in on my family?

I don't cry, I don't cry, I don't cry. Crying is weak, and I'm not like that...usually. God, I don't what's happening to me.

"You good, bud?" Chelsea asked quietly, trying not to draw attention to me.

Macie and Mollie were the oldest. Not only were they the oldest, but they were identical twins. Super confusing growing up with the same face on two different people.

Then Chelsea, then me. Chelsea is my absolute best friend. I think I could legitimately tell her anything...except the whole Paisley thing. Not right now, at least.

"Yeah..." I trailed off, standing up and walking over to Dad to give him a big hug. "I'm gonna go for a walk. I'll see you at home."

"Alright, Lex, be safe." Mom warned, hugging me too before letting me leave the hospital room.

I walked past grim doctors and grim nurses, all wearing the same tired and sad expression. I think this is honestly the worst place on Earth. To spend your final days here? With the sad nurses and the beeping machines and the rubbery jello? Count me out.

I walked and walked and walked. Not really sure where exactly I was going, but the walking was good. Thinking is good....except when it's not.

Paisley wants to kill her self.

And if she dies it's all my fault.

Why would she? Lin and Vanessa adore her, Vi and Winter and I adore her, what's wrong? What am I missing?

If she dies it's all your fault Alex

But why would she want to kill herself?

**********

Why did I have to have a crush on my best friend? I ruined everything, Meredith hates me.

"Can um...can I sit here?" I asked quietly, trying to be as polite as possible. One girl nodded and smiled, causing me to smile too and sit across from her.

"I'm Alex, by the way."

"I'm Reagan, it's really nice to meet you! I-"

"Reagan!" A tall girl barked as she approached the table with a lunch tray. She looked at me before continuing. "Why is she here. Remember what she did with Meredith?"