Silence (JinJi Fanfiction)

Chapter 16

"They might terminate your contract as Inkigayo MC. They said that it was normal for an idol to be absent for a month but you're going to miss the schedule for a whole three months. That's considered violating the agreement."

"Hyung, I'm fired? Just like that?"

The hyung shook his head. "No, I begged them to consider. But there is still a possibility that you lost your job."

"I've only been an MC for two months, hyung. What should I do?" he said, covering his face in shame.

"Right now? Hoping for the best."

~

"Don't mind them all. You've always done your best, never once you let yourself rest."

"It's not enough, unnie." she paused before muttering under her breath. "Never enough."

~

Neither wanted to break apart, staying in that exact position for a good 10 minutes. Not long after, Jinyoung felt Jisoo's body began to shake, followed by a muffled sob as she cried into his chest. His already-broken heart cracked even more.

He lifted his hand and stroke her hair gently. "I'm here. Tonight, tell me everything, okay?"

She nodded before slowly pulling away.

"Sorry, your hoodie is all wet now," she said, pointlessly wiping his tears-stained hoodie. Sensing her desperation, he took her hand and held it, causing her to look up in surprise. At that moment, their eyes met and in an instant, a surge of unexplainable—yet warm—emotion filled their hearts.

The place was dark—the park was entirely covered by tall trees that blocked the moonlight to shine through, and a dimmed post-lamp nearby did little to illuminate its surrounding. But even so, Jinyoung could see her eyes clearly. The eyes that are usually strong and cheerful were now lifeless and vulnerable. He could see that fresh tears were threatening to fall onto her damp cheeks.

"Jisoo," he called her softly. He rubbed his thumb gently on her hand, wordlessly encouraging her to speak up.

"I—," Jisoo swallowed hard, still locking her eyes with his. His gaze was tender but she could see the desperation that reflected hers. As if telling her that it's alright, to be honest once in a while, to admit that desperation is not a sin.

He was feeling the same thing, she thought—she was not alone. Relief engulfed her body as her wall completely shattered. Jisoo cried again—now she had someone to trust, she didn't need to bear with it alone.

"I—I lied," she started. "I've known all along."

He zipped his mouth, patiently waited for her to continue while still rubbing circles on her palm.

It encouraged her to continue. "That couldn't possibly be a ghost," she scoffed, "who am I trying to fool? Who would believe? I won't."

Jinyoung remained silent, despite not understanding the context.

"It would be easier if a ghost was really haunting me but no. The nightmares, that shadow. I know they are all representations of my fear. I couldn't possibly ignore the fact that they'd always come days before monthly evaluation, out of all days. Honestly, those were the only times I fear the most."

She could feel Jinyoung's confusion from the way he squeezed her hand, though she was sure he knew what would come after. He is an idol, out of all people in the world, a fellow idol would know why trainees fear monthly evaluation.