Black Castle 🖤 E. Mikaelson

Chapter Thirty•One. Between The Truth & The End

Chapter Thirty•One. Between The Truth & The End
ELIJAH
{How Not To by Dan&Shay}

🖤
You're like second nature, baby, you're just like breathing
Melody that you hear and you can't forget
Time goes by and I still need you
Yeah, you're worth the heartbreak and the regret
🖤

It had been four days since sweat had covered Arabella's forehead while she looked in the mirror. In her head, it had been at least three days since she's seen a Mikaelson, in real-time, and had been about four and a half days since she's seen the Mikaelsons altogether in their entirety. It felt like she had been asleep for days, but knew she hadn't as she picked up her phone on the nightstand and realized she had been asleep for only half of the day. Apparently she needed the sleep because no one disturbed her.
After her shower, she walked back into her room and sat on her bed for a minute, fell asleep, then woke up again. That time she didn't have any dreams, and she silently thanked her subconscious because she really couldn't handle her mind playing sick jokes on her again. She couldn't handle anymore stress at the moment.
She remembered helping Freya and she remembered reaching her limit and passing out, she just couldn't remember how she got home. She was in her bed, dreaming weird things, waking up, taking a shower, and then going back to sleep. She thought she was just catching up on the sleep she desperately needed, but it was the exhaustion from the amount of magic that had been taken from her.
Things were more vivid than she would like, and maybe it was the effects of how Freya had to use her, or maybe it was the lack of nutrients her body was missing, she didn't want to think about it anymore. Elijah and Arabella were not human and hadn't been for over a thousand years, they were not engaged, married, or expecting. Elijah couldn't get her pregnant.
She looked next to her in the bed and Bête was turned over, sleeping soundlessly. Arbella found the strength to get out of bed and get motivated for the day, if she could keep her mind off of what she wouldn't be to Elijah, she would be fine. She had a lot to do, for starters, she had to look for a place to live after she left New Orleans, she needed to find somewhere not even Elijah would think to look, somewhere obvious. She had some things to take care of before that happened, so she got ready, and she was out the door in twenty minutes.

      Elijah also couldn't sleep, so he made sure to keep busy as the world slept around him. The sun would rise in about an hour, and all he had accomplished was finding an antidote for Freya. By the time he had given it to her, Arabella was gone, and he couldn't go after her like he wanted to. He had to distance himself, and the longer he stayed away from her the more he felt he was able to stop wanting to be around her. It was impossible to stop caring, it was impossible to stop loving her, but what choice did he have but to stay away?
Was he being that unreasonable? Was he being too hard on her? He didn't want to change her, he didn't want to alter who she was, but how else was he supposed to feel?
He had decided to get ready for the day, maybe he could find some leads on where Lucien could be and keep himself occupied while giving himself space away from Arabella, it was the best thing for him.
Almost an hour later Elijah had found himself walking down the stairs into the courtyard, and at the same time, his brother walked in, neither of them noticed the pile of bodies in the center of the floor until they looked up. Elijah instantly sighed and looked at Niklaus as if he were responsible, and although Niklaus would normally take responsibility, he couldn't for that. He had walked in at the same time Elijah had walked down and was just as surprised as him to see the bodies. Sometimes, even Niklaus wanted to live through a day where there wasn't utter chaos. Before Elijah could ask what was going on, Arabella had walked in, her hands were stained, and her face had blood splattered going up the right side of her face as she carried in another body. When she passed Niklaus, the body she had been dragging across the ground had been none other than Gaspar Cortez. She tossed him away like he was trash when she added him to the pile, and for a moment, she placed her hands on her hips and caught her breath. When she was calm she turned to Niklaus and smirked a little bit.
"Why are you up so late?" She checked him out and then raised her eyebrows. The fact that she didn't bother looking at Elijah, he felt she was doing it on purpose, and she was.
"It's only half past five." He defended himself. Usually, when the day started he was the one waiting for her, he was impressed with how much she got done. The fact that she had retrieved and killed Gaspar, showed him just how serious she was to get everyone who didn't belong, out as quickly as possible. She was not playing any games. "I see you've been busy."
"Yeah, waiting around for you, I'd be waiting forever." She joked as her long ponytail had fallen behind her from over her shoulder as she smiled lightly at Niklaus. She was aware of Elijah walking around the pile, inspecting who was amongst the dead bodies, she just wasn't going to engage in a conversation with him unless he initiated it. "I also know where Lucien is."
"So why haven't you gone to see him?" Niklaus was curious because obviously, she had things taken care of, he felt like she didn't need him.
"I thought you'd want to join me, is that bacon I smell?" Her head moved in the direction of the kitchen. Elijah's eyebrows furrowed because that wasn't what he was smelling at all, he smelled blood and rotting flesh, why she brought them to the compound, he didn't know.
"I didn't have time to cook." Niklaus chuckled. He took a sip of his coffee and walked toward her.
"Where is he?" Elijah cleared his throat and looked up from looking down at Gaspar when Arabella realized he was talking to her, she didn't know how to act. More than anything, it made her nauseous.
"He's at home." She blinked slowly and then looked up at him.
"And you know this, how?" He was still staring at Gaspar.
"I'm not just some ruthless killer, I'm also great at tracking." She looked away and rolled her eyes. "Or did we all forget that?"
"I know this. You have many great qualities. It was just a question." He tried to save himself from the argument that was about to happen, he was too late though. He made sure that he rested his face and avoided eye contact.
"Why ask when you already know?" She shrugged her shoulder. Attitude already protruding on her mood for the day.
"That's not what I meant?" He tried to take it back. It kind of sounded like a question too.
"Really, because what it sounds like to me, is that you said that you know I have all these great qualities, like, you knew I was able to track Lucien down without killing him, and yet you still questioned me."  She was turned around and became hard as she shot daggers into him.
"I'm not trying to argue with you. I was just asking a question." He wasn't falling into it. Although he enjoyed getting a reaction out of her, he didn't want to argue so early in the morning. The sun wasn't even up yet.
"Yeah, well maybe that isn't the question you should be asking." She tried to walk away but Elijah wouldn't let it go. He sort of found joy in her reactions, as sick as that sounded. He found it as a confirmation that she still cared what he thought, even if it did get a rise out of her.
"Maybe we shouldn't do this right now." Niklaus looked annoyed between the two of them, he couldn't enjoy his coffee without the two of them going back and forth.
"Actually, we need to do this now. Niklaus can you give me a minute with Elijah." She didn't look at Niklaus, she just continued to stare at Elijah, Elijah almost faltered underneath it if she hadn't looked back at Niklaus when he called her name.
"Ara,"
"I only need a minute." She reassured him. Niklaus nodded slowly and made his way to go ahead and get Hope and take her to Freya so that he could go with Arabella. Hopefully, by then, she would be in a better mood. When he was gone, Arabella turned back to Elijah, lightly scratched her chin, and then brought it down at her side as she glanced at him tiredly before looking elsewhere.
"Arabella," He tried to apologize, and she didn't want his apology.
"You know, it's one thing to break my heart again over something so minuscule, but it's another thing to question how I work. That, to me, is not okay." She looked hurt and angry.
"I didn't mean anything by it." He took a step closer.
"You know, of course, you did. I get it. I killed my entire family and now you question my ethics on how I do things. You think of me as heartless, and careless. But what you don't seem to understand is that I don't remember killing them. And if I did, then I know I did it for good reason. I will not apologize for something I had no control over. You blame me for something I have no recollection of doing and you ridiculed me. I didn't know what I'd done until only a few days ago. You have left me over nothing, and you question me on everything I do. What is wrong with you?"
"I've told you over and over, that he isn't going to ever forgive you for what you've done." Bête smiled from the sofa. She was laid back, one leg propped up on the table, while the other crossed over the other. Arabella glared at her for a second before setting her eyes back on Elijah. Elijah looked with her. No one was standing or sitting where she was looking.
"But he's going to hear what I have to say," Arabella spoke calmly as she answered Bête, and Elijah decided not to say anything about it, he didn't want to dig his grave any deeper than it already was.
"Arabella, you have to understand where I am coming from. I value the idea of family, and you killed yours." He clarified. He also took another step toward her and she moved back.
"I love this family, Elijah. This was my family. I was born into a family where they thought killing me was a solution. Being born a twin in that period, to that family, was a bad omen. One by one they all turned on me and I had no choice but to defend myself." She tried to explain, she figured it wouldn't do her any good though. She didn't know why she bothered.
"Why are you explaining yourself to him?" Bête rolled her eyes, she didn't like to see Arabella hurting because in the long run, she would have to pick up the pieces. And she hated picking up the pieces.
"Why are you even here?" Arabella snapped her head at her, she wanted to be alone and without an audience when she spoke to Elijah, it wasn't Bête's business and she wanted her to mind her own. She stopped looking at Bête, closed her eyes, and inhaled deeply before giving him her attention again.
"I have never judged you, I loved you despite your flaws and your faults. I even overlooked the fact that you are a vampire. You listen to my sister one time and the first chance you get, you decide you don't want to be with someone like me." The hurt look on her face broke Elijah. He tried to remain composed but his face saddened.
"She spent the last millennia inside of your head, Ara. Was I not supposed to believe her?" It was way too early to start crying but Elijah felt like it was all he wanted to do, especially when he might have been wrong.
"No, no you weren't because Vera wasn't in my head when I killed them. She had no idea what caused me to do what I did, and the fact that you'd ask her rather than me, it's sickening. That is why I'm leaving, the first chance I get."
"Arabella, you don't have to leave." He tried to grab for her arm, but she moved back.
"What point do I have in sticking around? So when you decide to forgive me, it would be convenient for you to want to work on being together? Let me tell you this, I don't need to be with someone who cannot love me for the way I am. Flaws and all. And I won't."
"That's my girl." Bête cheered for her, only, she didn't expect Arabella to snap at her so harshly.
"You, shut up! You're starting to annoy me to high shit!" She stormed away from Elijah and pointed a finger at Bête, her eyes raging with annoyance.
"Who are you talking to Arabella?" Elijah asked her again, and he hoped that he would actually tell him but it was unlikely. To her, he should have seen Bête sitting there the same way she had. For that, she thought he was crazy.
"Does it really matter to you at this point?" She snapped around and narrowed her eyes sheepishly.
"Arabella, I'm really concerned about your mental health. No one is standing next to you, or sitting in front of you, it is only you and I in this courtyard." He tried to explain but the way it made him sound, it was almost as if he was calling her crazy, Bête picked up on that.
"There he goes calling you crazy again." Bête pursed her lips, flicked her nails, and narrowed her eyes the same way Arabella had.
"I'm not crazy." Arabella scoffed.
"I didn't call you crazy." He assured her, his hands were out, palms facing her as he slowly walked up to her again, she didn't want him close to her so she continued to step back.
"You're questioning my mental health. Is there anything else you'd like to question?" She was feeling insulted.
"Arabella, I care about you. That is the only reason why I'm bringing it up."
"Well don't bring anything to my attention, don't express your concerns for me. I don't want to hear anything you have to say. Just, stay away from me." She was hard, and it was clear that she wanted to cry but she tried her damnedest to hold it all back.
"Be reasonable." He was pleading with her.
"You want me to be reasonable?"
"Yes, please!" His patience was wearing thin. He was trying to show that he cared about her mind and soul and she wanted to hear none of it. Maybe it was because she felt that he didn't care about her at all, only when it was convenient for him, and nothing nor no one could change her mind.
"Fine, here is me being reasonable. As soon as I kill Aurora and Tristan, I am gone from your life!"
"If that is what you wish." He heard it once, and hearing it again started to feel all too real for him, he couldn't fight with her, it wouldn't stop him from finding her. "That isn't going to make me stop caring."
"What I wish? What I wish, is for you to act the way you did before I came to New Orleans. Because I cannot stand to see the way you look at me like you are doing right now." She quickly wiped the tear from under her left eye and glared at him. She hated him for making her cry when she didn't want to. But that didn't help when she saw the look on his face when she said that.
"You're asking me to forget you?" His eyes narrowed along with hers, and devastation spread across his features. He could feel his heart constricting from her words, and that was the worst thing that could have been asked of him. "You cannot ask that of me."
He loved Arabella more than he loved himself, and maybe it was because it hurt her the most. The fact that he could look her straight in her eyes and break her heart and then still dare to act like he still cared about her, was rich. She was convinced Elijah was just like the De Martel's and Lucien, he was going to smile in her face and act like he was planning her death.
That wasn't even close to being true but there had to be more to their break up than what she had done in the past. She deserved better than a sometimes partner. And only Elijah chose to love her like that, so why did she think that Niklaus would never do something like that to her? Would Niklaus do everything to not break her heart as Elijah had done so many times before? Would Niklaus not judge Arabella the way that his brother had?
Arabella's questions were never going to be answered because she was never going to go to Niklaus to fix her broken heart. She wasn't that damaged, and she would be okay to know that she didn't flip over to Elijah's brother, just to feel something.
"It shouldn't be that hard, you did it before so, graciously." The last word stung like a bee sting, and Elijah could see the blankness in her eyes. She was mentally trying to block out the pain her chest was producing, but it was clear that there was no way to get rid of it. Her heart ached.
"You can't ask me to do that." Tears welled up in his eyes as he said it again.
"I'm not asking." Her lips were tight. Then she turned on her feet and left, she couldn't be around him. How could the one person she was supposed to love in the entire universe, want her to stick around, but didn't want to be with her? She couldn't look at him after that.
Was he wrong? He couldn't let her go, he couldn't let her leave. He couldn't let her walk out of the compound while she was upset. They were supposed to be stronger together, they were supposed to face their issues together and he broke that the moment he decided that he couldn't be with her anymore. Maybe he thought he was making a mistake, but maybe it was a blessing in disguise. He just couldn't figure out which one was right for him. He mindlessly followed her out of the compound though, ignoring that Niklaus was still behind waiting for them to stop arguing.
"You can't leave New Orleans," He stopped her by grabbing her wrist. When he turned her, she looked like she was about to cry rather than blow up at him. All he wanted to do was wrap his arms around her and apologize for assuming that something was wrong with her. He wanted to make her feel better but he knew that he couldn't. "You've built a life here, you can't just abandon it."
"I built a life here because I wanted to have a life here with you. Now that that isn't happening I can't stick around. I cannot walk around the Quarter, bump into you, and think that everything is fine. It's not fine. I have loved only one man my entire life and that man wants nothing to do with me." Her deep inhale caught him off guard, she was trying to hold in her tears.
"I want everything to do with you Arabella, I just need time to process this version of you. There is a whole life that you hid from me that I know nothing about. Surely you should know how I feel." He tried to get her to understand, he did, as much as he was making it about him, she was making it about herself too.
"There is no version of me, I was just as in the dark as you were. I didn't leave you because of your past. The past you tried so hard to keep from me!"She stormed up to him and poked her finger into his chest. When she realized what she did she hurriedly retracted her hand and turned to leave again. "I need to go. You and Niklaus could go and confront Lucien."
"What about you?" He asked and tried to look like he was keeping his composure, he wanted her to stay with him. He wasn't going to get his way.
"I've done enough for the day, I'm going to find something else to do." She stopped walking, turned her head but never looked at him. She felt drained talking to him. He wanted to talk about all the things that she did wrong and how it made him feel, but he didn't talk about what they could do to fix it. Because in the back of her mind; Elijah didn't want to fix them, he just wanted her around so that he could keep an eye on her. That was a deal-breaker for her.