Demisexual things

(At request) My coming out... or not doing

Ok so this ones kinda complicated and I spent a good couple of years thinking about and worrying about this. Everyone's friends and families are different and you really just need to do what feels right and what you think is best for you.
In my case, I was kinda lucky for having friends who were already out as different sexualities from Hetero before I even knew I was bi, let alone demi. I knew all my friends would accept me so pretty much all of them knew everything as I knew. I've already talked about coming out at a party and being called demonsexual 😂 but yeah with my highschool friends who were with me while I was questioning, they knew as much as I knew as soon as I knew it pretty much. I only had one friend who I didnt tell til later on which was my bestfriend (and crush) who happened to be a jehovice witness. With her, I wanted to be sure before I told her and there was always the fear of, despite her being fine with our lgbtq+ friends, her hating me when I came out. I guess it would be a bit of a mind meld, your best friend for the longest time and closest friend whose not a member of the church coming out as something seen as completely wrong in your religion. She didn't seem to care much when I told her which was good. I only told her about the bisexuality and not the demi side of it as I wasn't certain on that yet and we dont have great contact since I went to college and she got an apprentiship. But yeah all my friends were accepting and brilliant, my boyfriend also is though he tends to accidentally forget about me being demi from time to time.

On to the less fun subject of family members. So first year of college, I was already out to all my friends and thought it was time to start clueing up the family. First off, I talk to my mum about the spectrum of sexuality and demisexuality while she drives me home from college. First set back, she laughs, calls it stupid and says everyone is firends with the person they're with. So, basically she didn't understand me. Next set back, watching tv with dad and there's a gay couple being cute and happy on a soap; my dad gets annoyed at there being too many gay characters on tv and that if someone is gay, he doesnt need to know. That's there business. Then pride came along and I just so wanted to come out, join the parade with my friends (the parade in the city I grew up in is second largest in england only to the capital) however... literally right before I start thinking about coming out as bisexual (at this point I'd given up trying to tell my parents about my demisexuality) mum starts sprouting the most biphobic stuff I've ever heard from her including, but not limited to, her banning me and my brother from dating bisexuals of the opposite sex and her another day telling me how she would never be able to date a bisexual because she would be worried she wasnt giving them what they wanted. So that... sucked.
Side note: People of the same generation as me in my family, so my cousin's and brother, all know I am demibisexual and are all absolutely fine about it. I had a really nice conversation with my youngest cousin in which I came out as demi and he came out as ace.
But back to the generation above, I pretty much resigned myself to not coming out to them. I started dating my now boyfriend and we were (and still are) going really good so I figured I'd never have to. Mum was still biphobic for a while and at random times, dad still believed people should live closeted and therefore I remained disguised as what mum called me at pride: a "straight ally". She even said to me and my boyfriend one time he was round, that she was proud that we were one of the few "normal couples" left as my boyfriend is straight and I never told her I wasnt. His face dropped, but I just laughed. He messaged me while sat next to me "I'm so sorry" but I was used to it by that point. This was into my second year at college now.

College came to an end and weird stuff started happening. I started jokingly saying "She's hot" to people on tv or agreeing with my dad when he said someone was hot just to see his response. Nothing really came from it til my trans bestfriend came round and jokingly reminded me of a time when he was his birth gender and a bunch of people in our class thought we were dating when back then I thought I was straight. He obviously said it in a way that didnt out me, but my dad said that I wouldve done well if I had been dating him. Mum started asking me more about my bisexual friends, and then one day while we were talking to them she out right asked me if I too were bisexual.

I was faced with a dilemma: do I come out to my biphobic at home but lgbtq+ loving to others mum or do I lie to her and risk pissing her off more if I ever do come out by lying to her face or end up being forever in the closet. I chose to come out. She asked me how I knew. I said I had crushes on some of my friends. She asked who and I told her. She jokingly said everyone would have a crush on one of them and I laughed cos that friend had actually never had a significant other which was a massive shame because she was willing and pretty damn gorgeous inside and out. My mum said I might just be confusing strong friendship for feelings of more. I told her I had a sex dream about one of my female friends. She said it was just a phase. I got bored of the cliché-ness of the conversation and left it before she could say any more outdated stereotypes and offend me more. I ended up ending it by saying that I was happy with my boyfriend and therefore it didn't really matter. Which I guess to her it shouldn't but it's still a big part of who I am and I never want to ignore it.

I still havent come out to my dad but he keeps saying things that make me think he knows. I've been planning on putting up a status on my facebook outing me to the rest of my family and anyone else who doesnt yet know in time for pride this year but I'm still scared. Still pride isn't until August in my home city and July in the city at which I attend university so I have plenty of time to grow some balls and bite the bullet 😂.

I know this part won't help many of you that much but trust that your parents do love you, even if they get confused about demisexuality and again, it's all about what you're comfortable with and what you think is best for you. I don't think I'll ever come out to my parents about my demisexuality but that's my choice and I'm comfortable with them not knowing. My friends all know and that's out enough for me. So maybe I'm not fully out of the closet but the doors are open at least.