intolerable || h.s. au

six.

six.

"And you, you can be mean. And I, I'll drink all the time, 'cause we're lovers, and that is a fact. Yes we're lovers, and that is that..." - Heroes by David Bowie 

River.

I slumped down on my bed. It was my first day and he had already worn me out. Many people don't know how to use a fax machine. I mean, what the heck are emails for?

My phone starts to ring from beside me and I let out a loud groan.

"What?" I spit into the phone.

"Easy tiger. You sound like you're going to eat me through the phone." Habiba starts to chuckle. The vibration the phone was emitting was starting to give me a headache. I am angry, I am tired and I am hungry. "What happened?" 

"He's a complete and utter bastard." I cry, as I lift my legs into the air. 

"Harry?" She questions, sounding completely clueless.

"No, fucking Zayn Malik. Who else?" I hiss into the phone. She seemed to understand my sarcasm as she sighed into the phone.

"Leave Zayn Malik out of this. You know how I feel about him." She silently sniffles mockingly. "He must have really screwed you over, huh?" Habiba still seemed amused, annoying me to no end. I needed support. Louis wouldn't laugh at me, but then again he probably would have fallen asleep by the time I started ranting.

"I am not joking Habiba, I want to grab those stupid wisps of hair and just rip them out. Just like that, just yank them out of his skull, slowly and painfully." My rage was getting the best of me and I seemed to be uttering anything that would sooth my anger right now, or fuel it, I don't know.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. He just doesn't seem like a bad person in interviews and such." She explains and that infuriates me further. So he was only like this with me?

"The more you talk the more my mood deteriorates. No offence, but you're just not making me feel any better." I sigh into the phone. I know I sound rude, but right now it didn't matter to me. I would apologise in the morning or something. Right now I needed sleep. "Look Habiba I will speak to you later okay. Works really playing on my mind right now."

"Alright." She whispers and I can tell that she is a little upset by my outburst. "Listen River, just cut him some slack yeah? He's probably just stressed with learning everything until he takes over the company. Maybe he will be a lot nicer if you were too." She requests, until she says her farewell and hangs up the phone.

Cut him some slack? She wanted me to cut him some slack. It was my first day at work and I already felt so drained. Maybe I should talk to Mrs Styles about calling in someone else to take my place. I could already feel myself giving in to the idea when I jolt up from my bed.

Who am I? What am I doing? I don't give up so easily. This was a challenge and I was keen on overcoming this challenge, for the sake of my strong subconscious persona. I am a good person; a tenacious, intelligent and great person, I kept reminding myself.

The fact that I had to work again tomorrow had me rolling my eyes, but I try to concede with the fact because at the end of the day I get payed very well for just someone who practically helps someone with their business stuff. I get payed for putting tea on a desk and faxing paper to god knows where - which I now know how to do?

The main thing that was playing with my head was the fact that my parents seemed so happy with my new job. They were giddy, definitely proud, and I didn't want to ruin that for them. We were all in bad shape before but the anxiety of waiting on my first pay tore me up. I didn't want to lose this opportunity.