Forgetting You But Not The Time || Real Life

June 1997

"I can't wait to get out of this place." I said to Fever as we pushed past the nervous swarm of freshman awaiting their sophomore year, the stressed out sophomores and juniors just wanting to leave, and the rest of the fortunate seniors who were getting out of this place in a few days. The hallways were crowded and too small, the claustrophobic sensation of anxiety came over me as we neared the doors. The sea of kids seemed to never end even outside the doors. Fever hadn't said anything to me the entire time. "Goodbye!" I yell to her as i reached the bike racks and she continued to her car. Still no answer. I dropped my hand out of the air and grabbed my bike to wheel it slowly home. The dirt road leading up to my house seemed longer than usual that day and I couldn't help but notice how empty I felt. Fever was the one thing keeping happiness around for me and now she was slowly disappearing too. I slowly made my way up the driveway and dropped my bike by the side of the house. I dragged my feet up to my bedroom and flopped on my bed. 2 days till graduation and I couldn't wait. I rolled over and turned on my radio, "Basket Case" blared through the speakers and I began to cry. It was our song, Fever and I had so many great times with this song, and it clearly depicted both of our overwhelming anxiety problems.
"Do you have the time to listen to me whine?" I sang along and buried my face into my bed because I wanted to erase Fever from my memory.
"Billie!" I heard my mother's familiar soft voice come from down the hall causing me to jump.
"Coming!" I yelled back. I jumped out of bed kicking my backpack out of the way, and rushed to the bathroom. I dried my tears, fixed my hair, and gave myself a reassuring smile in the mirror. I made my way to the living room and there stood Fever.
"What're you doing here?" I was very confused.
"I wanted to say I'm sorry." I rolled my eyes and left making my way back to my room, when I felt a hand grab my wrist.
"Go home Fever." The hand let go of me and my arm fell to my side, the tingling sensation of her touch still lingering. I fell against the beaten wall, holes from my father's past fists, and cried for what seemed like a very long time. I didn't remember much of the next few moments only the fact that I must've fallen asleep in the hall because I opened my eyes to find myself on the floor with my mother tapping my shoulder.
"What time is it?" My voice came out sleepy.
"It's 7am" my mother gave me an apologetic smile. "I think you should stay home today." She told me. I spent that whole day thinking about Fever and how cruel I had been to her the previous day. Hours passed of just staring into nothingness and eventually i fell asleep. I woke up the next morning with one thing on my mind. Graduation. It was happening, and it was happening today. There were no caps and gowns in this small town just plain old dresses and suits and no one put much effort into their look anyways. The swarm of adults was insane and the many other seniors were just anxious to get out. I saw Fever, she looked beautiful, but she was hanging on the arm of a boy. I suddenly felt my heart drop. The love of my life, my best friend, was really gone and she wasn't coming back. I walked away from the school not caring where i ended up, not caring i had left my family and "friends" back there. Eventually after hours of walking around our small, run down town i made my way back to the school. Fever was there with her new boyfriend, my parents were there looking very worried.
"Billie, where were you? We were so worried." My mother rushes over and hugs me tight. I never responded to her, I just looked at Fever. My mother let me go and Fever came over.
"Remember me please." She said and walked away. Walking out of my life forever