Forgetting You But Not The Time || Real Life

September 1998

September 23rd 1998. The day I turned 19.
"Billie c'mon!" Jamie called.
"Coming!" You see this was the day that my band and very close friends decided to take me to see the one and only Green Day in concert. It wasn't easy seeing how they were her and I's favorite band and had been since we were 12. We never got the chance to see them live before we never even saw each other again. Time for the next few hours seemed to blend together. We piled into our cramped van that we took on tour with us, we didn't fit very well. Jamies dad drove us places, including to this show. Even though there were only three of us in the back two rows we a shit ton of things piled in there. It was mainly my stuff since I had no where to go. The other two still lived at home but we were trying to find a place to live together in. We passed some weed around the van, we blared the radio, we threw things at each other, we were just a bunch of loud teenagers. Me being the oldest turning 19 on this day, the other two still only 18. I got chips tossed at me constantly and the music seemed to calm everything in my head. I seemed to have forgotten about her.
...
We managed to score front row and the three of us stood together waiting for the three men to walk out on stage. I was turned to face Alex when they came out and I was suddenly pushed into her and Jamie by the kids next to us. About half way through the show I was pushed again and again and again and eventually one kid had enough of me even though I hadn't done a thing. He threw his water at me knocking me gently. I rubbed my shoulder where it had hit me and went back to enjoying the show. Next thing I knew I was being pummeled into the ground by the older boy, but did I give  a fuck, nope. I threw myself over him landing myself on top and wailed him in the face. I was pulled off by security and the show had been momentarily stopped.
"Fuck off!" I screamed at the kid laying on the ground and kicked him in the crotch while security held my arms back. I managed to wrench myself out of the big guys grasp and stumble forward into my friends. My face clearly covered in blood and dirt but I wasn't caring.
...
After the show ended we were making our way back to our van when I came across some beautiful blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes. My boring hazel eyes widened at the sight that was soon joined by some brunettes and sunglasses. It was her. I knew it was her. It had to be. No one else in the world could get my attention like that. I couldn't shake her from my mind for the rest of the night.
...
Face planting onto the couch at Alex's house I just inhaled deeply. My face hurt like hell from the fight. I got up and made my way to her bathroom, as soon as the light came on I could see the damage. I had a black eye, I was covered in dirt, my face had dried blood that I wasn't even sure was mine.
"You okay?" Alex said causing me to nearly jump out of my skin.
"Yeah I'm fine, can I borrow some clo..." she had already lifted up a pair of pajamas. I guess I was really that predictable. "Thanks" I take the clothes and shut the door. I sigh and look at myself in the mirror. "What the hell is wrong with you?" I shook my head and turned on the shower. I got out of my clothes and began to think about what happened in the course of a few hours. Tears started involuntarily falling from my eyes. I threw my clothes on the floor and punched the sink, I couldn't take it anymore I needed to do something. I looked in the mirror once more but couldn't see anything more than fog. I drew a smiley face in the steam on the mirror and gave a sad smile back. I decided at this point it was time for me to actually get in the shower. I stood there letting the water run over me washing all the blood, sweat, and dirt off me. Visions of her began to flash through my mind and I began to feel dizzy. By this time I had already washed everything I was just staring at the water running. I shut off the water, opened the curtain, and reached for a towel. I stood staring at myself in a towel for what seemed like forever.  Finally I dried off and put on the clothes Alex had given me. I didn't bother bruising my hair because I knew what I was about to do. Opening up the medicine cabinet I found Alex's anxiety pills. I looked at myself once and then downed the bottle. I left the bottle on the sink and left the room. I laid on the couch and stared into the ceiling. Everything went black and the next thing I knew I was waking up in the hospital.