The Silence Between Us ✓

[11] Daydreaming

The next few weeks flew by in the way they usually did when everyone finally got settled into school again. Translation: when they discovered that, yes, this year was going to be exactly the same as last year. Athough I have to say that, for me, this wasn't strictly true because I had my GCSEs at the end of the year! Fun times I know – though to be honest all I cared about was passing English so there wasn't too much pressure. For other people, however, it wasn't so simple.

The only really big thing that happened was that Mackenzie and Katie 'officially' fell out. It turned out that Mackenzie really was that angry with the whole Dan thing and, according to the gossip held by Sydney and Carrie in Chemistry, they had a proper fight in the girl's bathroom last week (chances are the definition of a 'proper fight' in terms of people like them was the tiniest ever but you know). I didn't really care about them specifically but it did intrigue me slightly – after all, I had nothing better to be thinking about in school. That was what I was telling myself anyway; the truth had more to do with the fact that I didn't know if Noah and Mackenzie were still dating or not and knowing why she was so angry with Katie might help me know. It was a selfish reason and I knew that, but I couldn't help it and tried to ignore my curiosity whenever it reared its head.

In further news, Elliot hadn't been talking to me as much as usual and it was beginning to bug me. I couldn't tell if it was just that I was a lot more caught up in myself than I'd ever been or that he was busy studying, but it wasn't like when we did talk, he was off, so I wasn't properly concerned. It was probably all in my head anyway; I knew I could easily get paranoid about stuff (and by extension, at times I was actually paranoid about being paranoid – seriously I am that cool).

Guess who's back. Back again. Oh yeah, and Noah had decided to spend his breaks with me in Learning support 4. Don't ask me – he said it was because he wanted to practice his signing, and to be fair, bearing in mind we'd only had four sessions not including the first week, he'd gotten considerably better.

You're not funny you know! I smiled, nonetheless. I couldn't lie – it was nice to have someone to spend break with, even if he was hiding our friendship everywhere else. I should have been hurt by that, I know, but I was relieved more than anything because it at least meant that Harrison had no reason to notice me.

"And yet you stay here with me every break time – coincidence? I think not!" I couldn't help bursting into laughter. "See and you're laughing!"

And what if I am? I replied raising my eyebrows Who knows what I'm laughing at?

"Ok, have it your way, but we both know you like hanging out with me whatever you say" He was very persuasive. Throughout the past weeks, I had also grown to involuntarily think about how aesthetically pleasing Noah was. Some days I couldn't take my eyes off of his sculpted body or how his sandy brown hair coiffed perfectly, even after he'd been outside in the wind. I found myself thinking about his hazel eyes in the most random moments and having to ignore my desire to look at his perfectly formed lips when talking to him. It was impossible – he'd never feel the same way – and yet I would daydream about us together all the time. "Anyway, how's your life going?"

Great I replied slightly sarcastically. I still felt guilty that he didn't know the true extent of my life quite yet, despite my promise to finally tell him what was going on with me. It was like the more we hung out, the more I didn't want to ruin the friendship that we had, and the truth would definitely do just that, I was sure of it. Noah hadn't said anything, but I could see in his eyes that he was desperate to know and that just made me want to hide it even more; the possibility that he was just sticking around for the truth swum in my head too often. It was a big mess, but at least it was our big mess, not just mine anymore. And you know what's going to make it even better?