Unrequited || Jimin

2.4 | 진실

T R U T H

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Once upon a time, there was a boy and a girl.

The story always starts that way, doesn't it?

Boy and girl meet - climbing roses, windows facing each other, through the downpour and the dawn. Boy and girl fall in love beneath an ocean of stars or on a crumpled blanket listening to old-school radio. Boy and girl find homes in each other, find their solace and safe spaces, find their todays and all their tomorrows.

And maybe, if they're lucky enough, so they find forever.

If this was a storybook, we would maybe make it out to the end. You would now come to me like you were meant to be. I would love you the way I have already done for years. There would be no others, no supermarket aisles and no summer cherry girls.

You, me, the stars.

But today, I realized stories were just that. Fantasy, to fill the spaces in reality. Tales crafted by people who wish, created by those who dream.

The problem with dreaming, though, is someday - you will have to wake up.

The truth is that we are not the stars - we are only the spaces between them, infinite, we can never seem to be.

"What are you doing here, Byul-ah?"

Your voice broke through my daze. I wrinkled at the sound. You didn't sound like you. A bit too taut, an arrow quivering in its bow. Your eyes were looking at Jungkook, a little angry still, but the question was for me.

"Um." I blinked. The girl you were with shifted in her chair. Her eyes were ice, so at odds with the sweetness of her face. But when she smiles at you, I see pink petals, I see full bloom, and I realize the most beautiful of roses have thorns. It's only a matter of time until your finger pricks one.  "Dinner. With...with Jungkook."

"I asked her," Jungkook spoke up, flashing a friendly smile. I was thankful for him and his easy manners, but still this didn't appease you.

"On a date?" You asked, and you were trying to sound a little like you didn't care, shoving your hands into your pockets.

I didn't let Jungkook answer this once. "Are you?" The words sounded ugly, forced out of my throat, burning its way out.

Beside me, Jungkook tensed. I could see his eyes flicker to my face, could feel his fingers resting on my elbow grip a little harder.

You stared at me for what felt like ages.

I wanted you to say no.

Say no, say me instead, say this was all a make-believe and you would somehow find your way back to me through the dense thicket of trees. Say stars, say rooftops, say you have loved me for all these years and I had been blinded by familiarity. Say warm nights, say sunrises not sunsets, say you only needed to see me possibly gone for you to realize you wanted me to stay.

Say, with all sincerity in your heart, you pictured me instead of her, sitting in that chair in front of you.

Do I give up on you? Do I have a fighting chance, a last line in your litany, will you ask me to be a poem in all your glory?

"Yes." Your face closed up like a door shut. Somewhere in you, you have decided.

Jungkook's fingers slid down my elbow to twine with my left hand. This you saw, again you ignored.

"Song Hae-mi," the girl chimed in, voice syrupy sweet, smiling at me like she'd won. She offered me her hand. "Nice to meet you."

I looked down at her outstretched hand. She has pretty nails, decorated in seashell pale pink, the slightest edges of a sunrise. Bracelets around her wrist, gold charms dangling off them. Something in me shriveled like a crumpled-up paper, filled my guts with a low sadness.

"Byul," I replied at last.

Reaching out, I took her hand in mine, shook it once, and then my eyes met yours over her shoulder for one long beat -

I have loved you all this time

- and let go.

I wanted to cry right then and there. You looked conflicted, confused, and I knew you know me better than anyone else; I knew you could tell I was on the verge of tears. You bit your lip, warm honey eyes, and got up from your chair as if to walk towards me, to - to what?

"Nice to meet you, too," Jungkook said before gently tugging at our intertwined hands. His voice was soft when he spoke to me, gentle like I'm someone special. "Byul-ah, let's go. I'm not that hungry."

I was still looking at you, but I nodded. I let myself be pulled out of the store - my last glimpse of you was dawn on your face, your gaze following me as I leave, some sort of realization, the girl sitting back down with a tiny little smile.

And then you turn to face her, and I am forgotten.

Jungkook led me down the road. We stopped at a streetlight, flashing red.

The quiet between us lasting all the way from the cafe is broken when Jungkook asked, slow, like he's hesitant to know my answer. "You love him, don't you?"

My heart jumped. I didn't answer right away, kept looking across the street.

Above us the sky painted itself on fire, lilac and orange, watercolor edges sinking in. We stand under the clouds, silent.

Lovely, how some things have to die so they can be reborn, how the fallen fall so they can rise a little higher.

So I swallowed down my tears and replied, quiet, soft like the hidden morning stars, as much an admission to Jungkook as it was to myself.

"Yes."

The streetlight turned green.

Wordlessly, Jungkook nodded, tightened his fingers around mine, and then we stepped forward together, losing ourselves in the crowd crossing to the other end of the street.

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A/N: ah, it's been ages! i apologize - uni is at its most hectic this semester, but i found time to pen down a chapter just because i was inspired. this entire chapter is one whole metaphor - the sunset, the crossing of the street. can you tell what it is?

i've also slipped in another secret sentence; combine the bolded words! please let me know what you think of this, so far, and thank you for reading! i love you all. ❤️

(fun fact: when you combine all the hidden sentences of this chapter and the two previous ones, they all form a short paragraph; i'm writing a story within a story, sort of! )