𝖑𝖎𝖋𝖊𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖊 [nochelle & richola]

six.

we've just finished the first day of rehearsals for nationals, and everyone seems exhausted, but there's something playing on my mind. once everyone starts to leave i tap lola's shoulder. she seems to flinch a little before turning round, her face a little stunned.

"lola, can we talk?" i ask quietly.

lola bites her lip anxiously and fiddles with her hands, "sure."

"why did you do what you did?" i ask.

"with your pointe shoe? i was trying to be a good friend," she mutters.

"i know, i realise that now, and i'm sorry for the way i reacted, but why did you leave?"

"i had, um, other commitments," lola mumbles. she looks nervous, but everyone else is gone now.

"you didn't even say goodbye!" i exclaim suddenly, my bottled feelings escaping, "you left the team, and me, when we needed you most!"

lola folds her arms across her chest, "i already told you, i had other commitments. leave me alone richelle!"

"no! i'm sorry lola, but you hurt me a lot, yet i forgave you, and then you couldn't even be decent enough to reply to my texts!"

"i was busy!"

"too busy to text your best friend?" i ask, going quiet now.

"yes."

"how could you be that busy that you just left without even saying goodbye?" i whisper, a few tears threatening to escape.

"richelle, i had other commitments!" lola yells angrily, "and why do you suddenly care now?!"

"i always cared! i texted you everyday for a month and you didn't even acknowledge me! and what are these stupid 'commitments' anyway? dance comes first! you can't just leave for months and then rock back up expecting your spot back, but you're such a little suck up to emily she let you back without even an explanation!"

"emily knows why i left!" lola shouts, and i can see tears pricking in her eyes. i want to apologise but i just can't. she left me with no one.

"why didn't you tell me?" i choke, a soft sob escaping.

"i couldn't. i wanted to but i couldn't."

"we were supposed to be best friends!"

lola looks as if she crumbles, before bursting into floods of tears, "my sister almost died!"

it's like a stab in the gut. fuck. i'm such a bitch. "what?" i whisper.

"you heard me. my sister almost died. forgive me for wanting to be with my eight year old sister while she was in a
coma for two months instead of replying to your stupid texts or wanting to dance."

"i'm sorry, lola. i didn't know," i mumble.

"it's fine. i should've told you."

"what happened?" i ask quietly.

"she got hit by a car. it was my fault."

i bite my lip, "how was it your fault?"

"it was the day we filmed the regionals video, and i'd texted my mum saying how well it went and how excited i was, and my mum had texted back that lydia, my sister, was so excited to see me that she was sitting outside waiting for me. and- and i got off the bus, and the bus stop was on the opposite side of the road. then- then-." lola stutters, tears streaming down her blotchy cheeks.

i take her hands in mine, "take your time, it's okay."

"lydia ran out into the road to see me, and a drunk driver came hurtling down our street. she was knocked straight out."

i'm stunned, "i'm so sorry lola, is she okay now?"

lola bites her lip again, "not really. she's awake, and mentally she's okay apart from the trauma, but she's paralysed from the waist down. it's too soon to tell at the moment but there's a seventy percent chance she'll be in a wheelchair for the rest of her life. she'll never dance again."

i feel sick to my stomach. "i'm sorry i was such a bitch."

"it's okay. i should've told you."

"are you okay?" i ask softly.

lola shrugs.

i take her hand and sit her down on one of the benches. i perch next to her and wrap my arm around her, "what's wrong?"

lola sniffles a bit, "well, when lydia was in the hospital, my parents were so focused on her. my depression got really bad and i did some stupid things, i've stopped don't worry, but it affected me badly. i'm not the same anymore."

"your dancing looked sadder," i whisper.

"because i'm sadder."

"i'm sorry lola," i whisper, "i'm always gonna be here for you, you know that?"

lola nods gently, "we should probably get home."

"that's a good idea. text me if you need anything, okay? we're gonna get through this together."