Nothing More // Reddie

6

IMPORTANT

I said it in the intro, but in case you didn't read that, I'm not going to put trigger warnings in front of chapters. Don't ask why, I have my reasons. This is your last chance. This story contains: Self-Harm, Abuse, Drug use, Homophobic slurs, Eating Disorders, and possibly Sexual Assault. If these trigger you, DO NOT READ ON

Richie's P.O.V. 

The next few weeks were torture for me. Eddie had to continue using my shower, since his wouldn't turn on and neither of us had the money to get it looked at. I stopped talking to Jane in class altogether to avoid the awkwardness of her asking about my "relationship". 

And the notebook. That stupid notebook that Eddie kept writing in. I had always been a curious person, but this was driving me insane. It was like I had to know. 

And the terrible part was I couldn't stop looking at him. I'd watch him examine his appearance in the mirror, watching as his face contorted in dislike, wishing I could tell him how much it hurt me, even though I didn't know why it did. 

But the worst came when we finally managed to scrape together the money for a plumber. We were told he would have to do some bullshit with the pipes, and Eddie couldn't sleep in his room because of the fumes or something like that, meaning he would have to sleep on the couch. The crew started to work immediately.

Eddie awoke the next morning to a crick in his neck and bags under his eyes. "Rough night?" I asked, slipping past him in the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee. 

"That couch is a nightmare, I don't know why I thought this would be fine." He complained.

"You know, if you want we could switch. Like I could take the couch and you could have my bad."

"What? No, I'm fine."

"It's totally cool, I've fallen asleep on the couch a bunch of times, and anyway, you have a way earlier schedule than me."

"No, I'm ok." He said. "I don't want you giving up your comfort for me."

"Trust me, I did not grow up on comfort. I'm used to this kind of stuff."

"Still." He said, biting his lip anxiously. "I don't want to impose."

"Ok. Then we can share." I said.

He creased his eyebrows. "Share what?"

"The bed."

He choked on his coffee. "No, Richie you don't have to-"

"Just shut up and say yes so I don't have to feel guilty about you sleeping on the couch."

-

I watched in fascination as Eddie did sit ups on the living room floor, the T.V. long forgotten. He let out whimpers and grunts of pain, but continued with the action.

"Give it a rest, Eds. You've been at it for a while. That has to be at least 300."

He stopped momentarily, laying on the floor. "I only did 187. I need to get to 200." He said before continuing the exercise, stopping when he had reached his goal. 

He walked over to the mirror that had been leaned against the wall behind the television. His eyes danced over his body as he examined it from different angles. He finally turned to face the mirror straight on, scowling in disgust. 

"Don't be so hard on yourself." I said, making him turn towards me. 

"I'm not that hard on myself. I just wanna be fit."

"Well, you look fine to me."

Shit. That came out wrong.

He blushed furiously. "Oh. T-thanks"

"I just mean that you already look fit. Like, I wasn't... flirting with you or anything. I mean of course I'm not. I'm straight, so... yeah."

He cleared his throat. "Right, so... I'm gonna go to bed now. Are you sure it's fine that I sleep in your room?"

"Yeah. It's totally cool."

"Really?"

"Jesus Eds, just go to sleep."

He rolled his eyes. "Don't call me that." He mumbled as he made his way down the hallway.

I sighed, getting up and making my way toward the window, opening it and lighting a cigarette. 

After I finished that one I lit another. And another. And another. 

I shivered in the cold night air as I inhaled the smoke, letting my mind drift to the dream I had had the previous night.

I had been having the same one for weeks. It always started with me playing chess with Eddie. He'd win, I'd accuse him of cheating, he'd say prove it. And then that damn lip bite. And then I would tackle him and things... escalated from there.

I had only ever had a dream like this once, and it just so happened that that person was another guy. But that was in the past, and right now I just wanted to forget what was happening in my brain.

I stared at my cigarette for a moment, before pressing it into the soft flesh of my arm, hissing as it made contact with my skin. I examined the mark I had made before taking one more drag of my cigarette and putting it out, pulling the window shut.