Nothing More // Reddie

8

Richie's P.O.V.

"You're what?"

Eddie sank onto the floor pulling his knees to his torso and wrapping his arms around himself. Silent tears streamed down his face. "I'm gay. I'm gay, and that guy. he's my ex. That's why I took so many pictures of him, because we were dating. You happy now?"

I shook my head in disbelief. "I said all that insensitive shit about homos and stuff like that. I never would have... if I had... I never would have said that stuff if I had known."

"Doesn't matter." He said, his voice laced a kind of melancholic shock. "It's what you really meant anyway."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked. "You could have told me that."

"I wasn't ready. I'm still not ready. The only people who know are my ex and Bev and my... my f-family." Suddenly he broke into sobs, burying his face in his knees.

I swooped down next to him, kneeling beside him and patting his back in an attempt to comfort him. "Hey, hey. It's ok. I'm not gonna tell anyone."

"I've never really talked about this with anyone. I don't know why I'm telling you." A series of sobs racked his body before he spoke again. 

"Nobody knew about me and Peter. We were both closeted and didn't want our parents to know. It was like a Romeo and Juliet sort of thing, you know?" He sniffled, smiling reminiscently for a split second before he was once again engulfed by sorrow.

"And then my brother read my text messages." He went on shakily. "We were in my room hanging out and I went to go use the bathroom and... I dunno. Maybe I got a message or he wanted to look something up or something?"

"But when I came back my phone was in his hand and he was looking at me like I had just murdered a smile child. I begged him not to tell. I threatened him, I bribed him, but nothing worked. He ran right into the living room shouting about how 'Eddie's a fag.' You should have seen my mom's face."

He took a deep breath before continuing. "My dad screamed. I think my mom cried more than I did. They said they weren't going to tolerate that bullshit in their house. And they said I could either go to this conversion camp they found, or I could leave. So I left."

"And when Peter found out, he flipped. Broke up with me. He was my first crush, my first kiss, my first serious relationship, my... my first everything. And he was gone. Just like that." Eddie was once again sobbing loudly, his whole figure shaking.

"I'm so ashamed."He managed to choke out between cries. "If I could have just been straight..."

"You have nothing to be ashamed of." I assured him, rubbing his back soothingly. "You don't have be sorry for being you."

He shook his head. "I just wish somebody cared enough to love me for me. No matter what. I just wish somebody cared. I wish... I wish somebody would care about me."

He turned to look me in the eye for what felt like the first time in years. His doe eyes were red and puffy, somehow making them even more mystifying. He was still crying wildly, tears flowing at their own will.

As I slowly moved in closer, the only sound was Eddie's sharp breathing. Slowly, I leaned in, planting a soft kiss to his lips. It was sweet, gentle. I pulled away just as slowly as I had moved in, internally dreading the end of the kiss.

Eddie stared at me for a moment before wiping his eyes. "Your turn." He said, as though the kiss hadn't happened at all.

"My turn what?" I said, suddenly being overcome by confusion.

"I told you about my photo album. Now you tell me about your nightmare."

Shit.

"Um. No, Eds. I don't think that's a good idea."

"I think it's a great idea. I'm forced to share my secret, why not yours?"

"Please." I said, my voice coming out more vulnerable than I had expected it to. "Don't."

"Why not?"

"It's not good."

"Neither was my secret."

"Please don't make me tell you." I whimpered, sounding much more broken then I wanted to.

He seemed to contemplate this, looking at me curiously. Just as he was about to say something more, I smashed our lips together, not giving him a chance to speak.

This kiss was much different than the first. The last one had been soft and gentle. This one was harsher, rough and bruising.

I subconsciously pressed my weight against him, causing the both of us to lie against the floor. Eddie tangled his hands in my hair. Our lips moved in sync. Eddie removed one of his hands from my hair, letting it fall to my shoulder before travelling down to the small of my back...

Something inside me flipped and i had stopped kissing him and stood up in a matter of seconds. 

Without another word, I scurried off to my room. The whole time thinking: you fucked up this time