"I am so disgusted by you. I can't believe you would act like this. I can't believe you would do something like this. You're not like this, or at least that's what I thought. We're over," you huff, turning on your heel and walking hurriedly away.
You don't look back, as you are extremely angry at Kihyun.
He doesn't even bother running after you, as he knew it would he meaningless.
You can't believe he would betray you and your feelings.
You think about all that trust built up over the years, broken in one second.
You reflect on the first moment, when on the first day of high school you happened to sit down next to Kihyun, not noticing much.
You admired that he was pretty, but that you would never end up with someone like him.
But by the end of the class, the two of you exchanged numbers and agreed to eat lunch together.
And by the end of high school, the two of you were dating. You were extremely happy with him, up until this moment.
Despite going to different universities, you stayed in touch and met up often. Your universities happened to be near each other, so that made it easier.
But when you found out that Kihyun exposed your deepest secrets, it made you feel vulnerable. It made Kihyun untrustable. It broke you.
He was drunk and dumb, where you drunkenly told his friends about the worst things that have ever happened to you. You don't understand how him and his friends got to that topic, but when his friends asked you about it, you were horrified. You were shocked that Kihyun would do something like that.
You told him because you knew you could trust him. You are the one who is supposed to tell people when you feel comfortable, and if you even wanted to tell them.
So when you confronted him, Kihyun couldn't help but break down and tell you that it happened.
He knew he fucked up. But he didn't know you would break up with him.
He knew it took time to earn your trust, and he broke it in an instant. He knew how much bravery it took to tell him about your past, and that it really shouldn't have been him to tell anyone.
It took you time to trust men, and to let Kihyun into your life meant a lot. When you met, he was the sweetest, most kindhearted person. You knew you could trust him after you got to know him.
It was hard for you to bring yourself to tell him that you were sexually abused in the past. And the fact that he went around telling other people about your past hurt you.
How could you trust another man again? The person that meant the most to you, the man who showed you what love and kindness is, is not the same man anymore. Because of one stupid decision.
You feel so deeply hurt. You end up going back to where you live, holding a knife over your skin. You think about dying, wanting to no longer live.
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First and foremost, I encourage those who are struggling with mental illness to seek help. I encourage those who have been sexually abused to seek help as well. But you do you and do what feels mostcomfortable.
Always feel free to reach out to me if you ever need to talk :)
I'm sorrythis imagine is trash and extememtly short. I didn't want to do anything thatwould be considered cliché. I also had slightwriters block.
I will try to write better. I wanted to writethis for you, as you were waiting.
