Buzzkill: The Reckoning

Chapter 7

Bucky lead Ruth back down the elevator and through the hallways to where she would be staying. All Ruth could feel was out of place. A discomfort covered her, this facility feeling much too big for her to ever feel at ease. She knew she wasn't welcome here. She never expected to be. In fact, she wouldn't be surprised if someone tried to come into her room and kill her tonight.

"So here's your room," Bucky started, standing outside the doorway. They were up on a sub level floor, two flights above the living space, traveling up a winding ring of stairs to get to a floor that opened up into landings that held six rooms, three on each side of the staircase.

Ruth walked past him and into the room. It was larger than anything she'd ever stayed in, probably coming close to the size of the apartment in Bucharest. A queen sized bed sat on the far end wall, a dresser sat across the room from her, and a door to the small en suite was situated on the opposite side from the bed. Large windows opened up the back wall. Ruth looked out at the vast amount of trees that stood at a distance. Everything in the room was clean, a blank canvas.

"I'm just next door if you need anything," Bucky continued, looking at Ruth for a reaction to how she thought of the place. He could see her tentativeness. "And, here," Bucky held out a 9mm pistol for her. "I would probably get in trouble for giving you this, but hopefully this will help you feel safer."

Ruth turned to him, glancing a the gun for a moment before taking it from him. "Thank you."

Ruth felt strange. Even though they had had a reunion that went much better than she expected, being able to talk a little bit about what had happened in the past few years, she couldn't help but feel as if there was still a wall between them that she couldn't knock down.

It was the guilt. It had broken her down so much in these past three years. It created a disconnect between her mind and her heart. Everything inside of her told her to stay away from James, to get away before he was taken away. But her heart told her to stay. The problem was, she didn't know what it was to love anything.

"I'll um...let you settle in," Bucky said, putting his hands in his pockets. He just wished he could reach out to Ruth, that they could relax and talk the entire night, catching up on everything they've done in these past three years. Bucky wanted to reach out his hand, having Ruth turn around so that he could hold her again. The problem was, he forgot what it was to love anything.

"Ok. Thank you, Buck," Ruth said, her voice soft.

"You're welcome, Ruth," Bucky replied. He gave a small smile before turning and walking out the door, closing it behind him.

Ruth watched him walk away, the room around her suddenly becoming bare. She looked around, setting her bag down against the sleek wood dresser and the pistol on the counter. Something that immediately stuck out to Ruth like an abyss was the space between the left side of the bed and the wall. She walked over to the right side of the bed and pushed it over until the bed and the wall touched, eliminating another space for her to watch through the night. This way, she could back herself up to the corner of the bed and see the entire room and the door.

Ruth grabbed her helmet off of her bag and placed it on top of the dresser. Like she did an infinite amount of times a day, Ruth checked the small compartment on the back of the helmet for the USB, which still sat in its usual spot. She paused, taking the small device out of the helmet and holding it in her hands. Ruth never looked at the contents of her most valuable possession because she never trusted a computer around her to be safe enough. The only computers she was able to have access to were the public computers at the library.

Maybe there was a safe computer here...

Ruth carefully walked past Bucky's room, thankful that his door closed as the night wore down. She held the USB tight in her hands, walking down the hallways swiftly and quietly.