paradise | letters to Him √

2. danger.

I didn't know how dangerous you were to me until you whispered three words in my ear, so close I could feel your breath skimming the back of my neck. You were like poison making its way from my bloodstream into my heart.

Not as apparent as a dagger, but just as potent as one.

I said the words back, not knowing how much weight they held. You smiled then as if you got what you wanted, and I suppose you did in a way.

I asked what exactly we were a week later. You couldn't, or wouldn't rather, give me a straight answer. You distracted me with pretty lies afterward, and I was satisfied. You see, I thought that was acceptable at the time, as the question that burned in my mind perhaps didn't burn as hot in yours. But when I look back, I should have pursued the truth instead of hiding behind the convenience of blissful ignorance.

The intensity in the way you looked at me only increased after our shared sentiments hung thick in the air, but there were still things that did not dare grace your lips. You kept me so close, I could feel your heat. Not close enough to feel the warmth of your heart, but still, it was good enough.

Did you see me as a friend then? I'm still not sure, and I ponder that strange possibility as I write this. Our misunderstandings could have been avoided if only you had answered that day: "What are we?"

But you were not ready to answer just yet, and I respected that.

I know you loved me in your own way. There were things you couldn't say or do because that's just how you were, and maybe I expected too much. But you knew the effect you had on me, and darling, I am not wrong in saying you enjoyed every moment of it.

You were dangerous then, and you remain dangerous now.