paradise | letters to Him √

10. moving on.

I can't tell if I'm sad, relieved, happy, or anything in between. I am a blank slate, and I think that's okay, too. I learned to stand my ground when it came to the things I felt, push back against the gravity that affected me.

You taught me so much. Falling in love, hardship, wonder, heartbreak. I felt human when I was with you. I felt real. I suppose I should thank you for that, but I don't think I need to spell it out here.

You taught me how to love myself, and that is something I can never forget.

You had the security of a baby blanket. Old, ragged, threadbare to those who saw it from the outside. But you had sentimental value that I could not replace. The memories we shared: the tears, the laughter, the fights. Those were not things I could get from a normal blanket. I needed you in more ways than one.

But I learned how to say goodbye. I realized you were old, ragged, and threadbare. I realized you were only worth the value I gave you, and when I took that away, you were nothing but an old past, something to remember but nothing to settle back into.

With goodbyes come new beginnings. I took my most treasured things, dusted them off, and set them somewhere with a new background, a new mindset. I acknowledged the past, but I acknowledged what was right in front of me. I reached and reached until I grabbed a hold of it and let it take me above the clouds and into the universe above. Where supernovas are born, where stars float lazily by, I sat. I made it my home.

When we reconnect later in life, (and believe me, we will) our experiences will not be lost to us. We will remember everything, from the way we laughed to the way we felt under our fingertips. We will remember, but we will push it aside and begin another journey together, for destiny unwound our strings, but that's all She did. We can still try, make new strings, one that is not dictated by coincidences and false promises of Forever.

You will always be a part of me, and I will always be a part of you. But I will move on someday.

I wish you the best.

With Love,

Your Forever Friend.