Neil Knight Private Dick

Yorba Linda

There are currently about 4,000 businesses in the United States that are identified as 'Strip Clubs', with each of those employing approximately 80 to 100 strippers, on average, per club. This means that in the U.S. alone there are, at any one time, between 320,000 and 400,000 strippers who might benefit from knowing when a raid on their workplace might occur.

Many of the reasons people read and share things on the internet can be explained by referencing some type of group psychological theory, and research indicates our brains are rewarded with a nice burst of dopamine when a new concept or idea is introduced to us by our Social Network friends.

Certain emotions such as joy, hope, pleasure, happiness and excitement encourage us to share information we have found with others.

Such was the case when Cotton's 'PoliceTracker' was first posted in the app store, for a price of $75 per licensed download.

Due to a flurry of social media communications discussing the 'Chubbies Incident', as it was now referenced, 'PoliceTracker' went viral, with a search and sales volume that nearly overwhelmed internet servers. Strippers in the US alone accounted for 280,000 individual app purchases, netting Cotton a cool twenty-one million dollars in the first fourteen days.

By day twenty, internet chatter expanded beyond gentlemen's clubs' employees to other interested parties, where knowing the location of police vehicles might be of value, such as organized and unorganized crime, and sales numbers exploded, exponentially multiplying, yielding dizzying totals.

By the end of the first month sales had exceeded over one quarter of a trillion dollars on over three and a half million individual software purchases.

Cotton decided not to complete his final year of college.

When the Dean of Students was informed of his decision, the Board of Trustees met in an emergency session and they decided to award Cotton an honorary degree based on his recent programming and marketing accomplishments, as well as his overall good standing as a student. The importance of associating the name of Cotton Lee Spradley with the Apple/Adobe Training Center at Metro Technology Center Downtown Business Campus was never clearer.

Clearly smitten with Sue Ellen, Cotton proposed to her after 'PoliceTracker' sales passed half a trillion dollars worldwide.

Sue Ellen accepted, with a stipulation that they wait to marry until after the Spring semester at Oral Roberts University ended, so she could complete her Master of Business Administration (with a concentration in accounting). She also wanted to finish her current term as the President of the Accounting Society at ORU, three consecutive years running, and then hand the reins over to her vice president so he could preside over the organization the following fall semester.

Cotton, always a gentleman, agreed.

"There's only one last thing to decide" said Cotton, "Where would you like to live after we tie the knot?"

"California" she quickly replied, "I've always wanted to live in California."

"Alright then. California it is."

"But it's a right big state. A long state with a few big cities up and down the coastline."

"Only one way to decide then" she said, pulling out two Rand McNally California EasyToFold state maps out of the bottom drawer of her desk. Holding one in each hand behind her back she told him to pick a hand.

"Right hand" he responded.

She held out the Southern California EasyToFold state map.

"Now let's open it up and tape it to the wall."

With Scotch Brand clear tape affixed to all four corners of the map suspending it on the paneled wall next to the kitchen doorway, she put a pencil in Cotton's hand, had him close his eyes tightly, spun him around three times and guided him toward the map.

"Hold yer arm out straight, Cotton, pointy end of the pencil first."

He walked forward with a purpose and connected with the wall, snapping the graphite tip on impact.

He stopped and opened his eyes.

"Whad'ja hit?" she asked.

"Somewhere near Los Angeles" he said. "Yorba Linda."

"Yorba Linda? What kind of name is that for a town?" she queried.

"That's what it says."

"Then that's where we're goin'" she stated.

"How you want to pick a home?" she continued.

"Better get a realtor," he replied, "We don't want to leave anything to chance..."

So in the early summer of 2015 the newlyweds moved to their 5 bedroom, 4 bath, 4509 square foot single family home at 20510 Regal Oaks Dr, Yorba Linda, California, a stone's throw from the Inspiration Christian Fellowship non-denominational church just down the road.

And pretty much diagonally across the street from the home of the colored folk, on whom Sue Ellen reported the goddamn ruckus to the local law enforcement on the day Leilani and Double Dee Shams celebrated their home purchase.

Welcome to the hood Sue Ellen Hicks-Spradley.