48. ||CRITICAL||

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Of course
There was one time of the night
When your slumber wasn't
All that deep.

You would keep your lotus eyes closed
But your ears would be ever vigilant
Like ferocious watchdogs
To report the unusual
Like my sudden sour laments
And complaints to you
For not bringing me enough jasmines
For my loose, flowing braids.

In those precious few watches of the night
You have known the real Radha,
Krishna
You have feigned sleep
So I don't stop talking
So I don't keep within
Whatever clogs my
Frost-bitten heart.

You would never know I knew.

That's when I loved you the best, Krishna
When I was the more critical one
Even if it was just
Make-believe.

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