Radha's Krishna

56. ||GODDESS||

Did I just say Goddess? 
Now that's the thing, Krishna 
I just don't know what to call myself 

Some say Goddess 
Build me gigantic temples 
Where my soul finds breathing a cumbersome task 
Instead of building me gardens. 
They forget 
I was always a garden girl. 

Some say that in fact, 
I never existed. 
I was the stuff of a poet's
Imagery.
But that has been addressed before.

And then 
Some say 

"She was only human 
A milkmaid 
Just so hopelessly in love with a dark 
Rain cloud hued cowherd 
What was his name? Oh yes, Krishna 
They spent many eternities together 
But He never wed her.
Bah! Is this even a bond then? "

It does not anger me anymore. 
I find it amusing 
I go into fits of giggles 
We don't owe them justifications, beloved. 

Don't you worry. 

But what does anger me 
Is the fact 
That I don't have an individual existence. 
True, we are one.
We are in fact
Each other's halves. 

But 

When you can be recognised 
For so much more than just a Radha 
Why can't I be recognised 
For much much more than 
Just a Krishna? 

The thought tires me. 
I go to sleep.

Sleep has answers to most of our problems, Krishna. 
Once those eyes close 
There is a lot to think about.
A whole new world to go to.
Isn't that why your eyes are 
Always closed 
In that infinite form of yours? 

I wake up to the answers. 

I have 
Never wanted 
An individual existence. 
I have never 
Wanted to be 
More than just your beloved. 
More than just your soul. 

There can be a Radha. 
There are too many Radhas on this planet.
But
There is only 
The Krishna.

Maybe 
Just maybe 
That is why 
They still do not know 
So much about me 

Even their bulky books with difficult, poetic verses 
Do not mention me. 

I just 
Didn't want to be mentioned. 
For anything 
Other than being 
Your eternal heartthrob.

And I go into fits of evil giggles 
Again.