if I ever fall in love.

two, three

OMNISCIENT.

He felt cold in her absence following the nights of her death. With the third anniversary closely approaching him the wounds became fresh and it diluted his mind. He needed comfort and he only thought of Lei, but he didn't want to ask her.

So there he sat, in the dim lighting of his bedroom attempting to get sleep after the many lockings and unlocking of his phone that was set on her contact. One part just wanted someone, another wanted to be alone, and one wanted Angie. He wanted her back, still, but she wasn't going to and every year he had to come to that realization until it was permanent.

His soft sniffles filled the somewhat spacious room, that was filled with an array of equipment. "Fuck it." He whispered to himself and opened his phone for about the hundredth time that night and tapped on the FaceTime icon under her name.

The brightness of his phone screen reflected onto his face as the FaceTime rang waiting to be received on her end. On the last ring her bare face could be seen from his side of the phone.

"Yes, Brandon?" She asked as she rubbed her eyes and turned on her lamp. From what he could see she was tucked under a comforter and a thick blanket pulled up to about shoulder length and on her head she wore a bonnet way too big for her as it covered her long braids.

"And before you get to thinking this is a shower cap, it's not, it's a bonnet." She corrected with experience. "I know love, an old friend of mine made sure I knew, she hurt my feelings one day when I asked why she had a shower cap on her head." He said with a soft chuckle in remembrance of Angie's female best friend, Aaliyah.

Aaliyah, Angie, and Brandon were best friends upon the girls arrival in middle school but kind of dispersed itself when she went to Oxford while Angie and Brandon moved to Los Angeles. Sometimes he wondered what had become of her since he only kept touch for a couple weeks after seeing her in shambles at the funeral. On that day they were a mess together like old times and if Angie was there in one of their places she'd be just as worse.

"She sounds like a bright woman." She smiled softly as she yawned but when she looked at his appearance she instantly became concerned. "Brandon, baby, are you alright?" She was completely awake with concern as she took in his puffed features all tinting his pale skin the color of crimson.

"I'm alright, I just needed to talk to someone; I needed your company, but you're tired I'm sorry for waking you." He began to doubt himself as he seen concern wash over her face.

"No I'm alright, but what's wrong with you? I don't mean to intrude but I care about you and I want to be there for you."

A thick sigh fell pass his plumped lips. "Can you come over?"

•••

Within the hour she was in his bed and their bodies were intertwined. Although the relationship was strictly platonic he needed no one else but her and she refused to let him down at her own accord. She didn't want to intrude, as she said, but the curiosity festered within her.

"Are you okay?" She asked with her fingers moving through his wavy hair as his head laid upon her chest. "Yeah."

His voice was raspy yet fragile as he held back the ocean of tears building up behind his lids. She heard the waiver in him and it sounded as if he was a former shell of himself. The two laid there intertwined for a little while before he spoke again, somewhat calmed by her presence.

"Her name was Angie," he started as he spoke his first loves name for the first time in about three years. "She was my world and more and I gave her everything from the time I was six up until three years ago."

"What happened?" She asked as she kept her voice light. "She died, to be frank, and I miss her, dearly." Brandon confessed.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be talking about other females with you, that's disrespectful and inn-"

"Shut up, you shouldn't be worrying about me when the anniversary of her death is close by. I understand the sorrow you have for her and I'm not going to leave until you're ready. You talking about her will not make me like you any less." She let her thumb swipe away the stray tear falling from his soft doe eyes and it broke her heart to see him so broken.

He felt weak from her sympathy yet he felt warmed by her sincerity and care for him even though they only knew each other for a little while. She felt nothing but admiration for him, not even for coming to her of all people, but for the mere fact that he remembered. He didn't let a past lover go like others around the two, he kept her safe in his mind.

It was like she was kept behind a locked door he only had the key to, and he only unlocked it for the ones he trusted.

A deep chuckle came from his flushed skin before he released a cool sigh. "I feel guilty, I want to make it up to you, for helping me at least." His soft fingers caressed random pieces of skin that fell astray from under her shirt and shorts. "No need."

"I want to, a breakfast maybe?" He further pushed.

"I don't want anything for being here, I did it because you needed me, not for a favor return."

"I appreciate that, but I insist. I enjoy your company, I feel better when you're around and if taking you out for breakfast in the morning keeps you by my side any longer than that's what I'll do, whenever."

AALIYAH.
periodt.
anyways this feels ugly.