Suffocating

Illusion; XI

Roxanne's mind was all over the place. It felt like she'd taken both cocaine and LSD... and had a flu. Everything was strange. Everything was fantastic. Everything was nothing, the world was small, she was big, bigger and tinier than she was as a tiny big girl. She felt like she was being watched the whole bus ride home. It dawned on her that there could really be someone watching her, determining whether or not she posed as a threat.

Roxanne should be afraid.

If not for her words, then perhaps Roxanne would be, like any other reasonable person.

Instead, she held her head up high, holding a bold stride with each step, even in these dark street where secrets, bigger than drugs and hook-ups and everything she would have imagined, operated.

Everything was a blur.

Suddenly, she was opening the door to her apartment, which she noticed was dark. What time is it?

Claire was in the living room, sitting down on the couch, even in slumber. She held the teddy bear tightly to her chest, her eyes shut, her hair a frazzled mess, free from its ponytail.

She didn't look too good.

It felt like someone splashed a bucket of ice water on Roxanne, knowing that Claire had been waiting for her all night.

Roxanne wanted her to get a much-needed sleep, but... a sitting position wasn't exactly an ideal sleeping position, especially hunched forward like that.

She took off her boots and socks, taking a moment to enjoy her free feet, no longer shackled and weighted down by such monstrousness - be free, my faithful companions! - before taking off her jacket.

She stood there for a couple of moments, staring at her phone, a half-smile forming on her lips which must've looked weird.

Roxanne's footsteps were featherlight as she approached Claire.

She nudged Claire by the shoulder, eyes widening when Claire let out a very reactive reaction; jolting up as though she'd been stung.

It caused her hand to stand on its ground, afraid that everything it touched would burn and disintegrate.

Once Claire realized it was just Roxanne, she tried to apologize in her sleepy dazed state, to which Roxanne waved off.

"I don't want to talk to you right now."

"But-"

"We can talk in the morning, Claire. Now go back to bed."

Roxanne stared right at those widening eyes, hoping her gaze was steely and stoic.

Claire's face fell before it became understanding and withdrawn. She pushed herself off of the sofa, giving a smile Roxanne without a second thought. Roxanne pursed her lips, unable to return the gesture.

Claire, looking away, said, "I'll leave you alone. Promise."

Roxanne relented with a sigh, because despite it all, she wasn't dumb enough not to believe Claire cared about her.

Her eyebrow rose when Claire, pulling her up, grunted in what sounded like pain.

"Where have you been?" Roxanne tried to hide her worry through a tone of anger. And it seemed to work because Claire jerked and looked away, clenching her jaw, her body leaning away as though it carried a disease.

"I was out on, um, important stuff. You know that."

Clearly, Claire fucking Brooks was the picture of bloody damn innocence.