Exclusive- Charles Leclerc

quatre

Today Charles and me had our first ever date. 

And I was nervous. 

I know that I shouldn't be and that I shouldn't put so much trust in him. He didn't show me otherwise until now. I just don't want to get hurt. Again. With him being the source of my problem. Again.

Charles said to dress nice but casual. Let's hope it will be chilled, more talking this time. I just wore a nice yellow dress with little flowers on it. 

And I was right, Charles seemed like another person, we talked and talked for hours on the shore of this lake he was taking me to. He brought picknick and we just chilled. It was nice for once. I got to meet a new side of him. He was really not this womanizer I always thought he was. Instead he was charming, open,  funny and so polite. He told me about his family and his friends. How hard it was for him to loose both father and godfather. How he felt when he saw Jules Bianchi crash and how he went to the hospital to see him, hours before passing away. How he carried his coffin, how he remained strong, for everyone, for his own sake, for his career but nobody knew what really happened with him. How he turned cold, how he turned his back against feelings. He told people his mental strength was just getting stronger, but he felt weak. He just wanted to give everything to honor his mentor and godfather Jules. He worked so hard and I could see while he was talking, he was exhausted. 

"So you never wanted to get feelings again?"

"Yes, well clearly it didn't work, otherwise I wouldn't be sitting here."

"I am glad you did."

"Me too."

And then we kissed again. 

It was a kiss with meaning in it, I felt his passion, his grief, his fear, but mostly I felt his love. It was tender and sweet and after the kiss we looked in each others eyes and said nothing for a while. 

We just observed the other one. Someone could loose himself in those eyes, like a really really deep ocean. It reminded me of the Monegasque sea. 

He was amazing, how could I've ever hated him?

After he opened up and this kiss I couldn't help but tell him my story, my worries and in general my things, how I had problems with controlling my temper. I told him how hurt I was when Romain broke up with me, how I couldn't stand the looks in school anymore. How I grabbed that photo frame Romain gave me and how I threw it out of my window. Just missing a man that was walking by. Thank god. But at that moment, I was not in control of myself.

While speaking I must have fallen asleep on his shoulder, I just remember that Charles said something while brushing through my hair. 

"I will never hurt you, if my life depends on it, I won't let that happen..."