Unforgiving Life ☑️//P.JM//Completed

M

Y/N's POV

Me and Jimin had made our way back to my place after our appointment at the hospital we really just wanted to spend quality time together and i wanted to get Jimin to explain everything to me in detail.

We sat down and it was silence..that was it.....silence, so i decided to break it and start the conversation up myself even though on the inside i was really dreading it. 

Park Jimin tell how long have you known this information?"Speaking with a wobbly voice I look at his face waiting for my reply

"Y/F/N I have known for about a year now but it only got worse a couple months back" Jimin replied without meeting my eyes

"Why didn't you tell m-" "I didn't say anything because when i found out it had gotten worse you were away somewhere, you were the one that left unexpectedly you are the one that wasn't there when i needed you the most when me and my mum both needed you the most, where were you huh? You just DECIDED TO UP AND LEAVE US, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING THAT IMPACTED US AND YOU STILL HAVEN'T TOLD US WHAT YOU WERE DOING" 

He doesn't know

They didn't tell him

Nobody told them

After his little break out he was staring at me by now, his breathing quickened,his hair messy and he looked completely and utterly pissed off, "Well what do you have to say I have explained why I didn't tell you so now you can tell me why you weren't here and you can tell me where you were"-"Come on"-"Speak"-"SAY SOMETHING SAY ANYTHING JUST TELL ME"

"I WAS IN HOSPITAL"

I couldn't take it, I didn't want to tell him I didn't want to tell anyone I am ashamed of what I did I am ashamed  of what I still feel, I hate my feelings and emotions and I hate myself but I tried really hard to make myself better but how can I fix something when I don't know what the actual problem is.

Was it stress? Pain? Loneliness? Emotions? Hate? People? Life? Or did I just hate myself, I didn't know I couldn't seem to figure it out so whenever I felt like I was struggling I would punish myself by self harm and it was good

The feeling of my blood running down my arm and covering my hand and the blades I use to cut my arms it felt good to know that I was being punished for not being good enough, I  always believed it would help me learn but here we are today I am still struggling and still having those thoughts, but the difference is I have someone with me this time, Park Jimin, my best friend, my boyfriend, my family, my happiness, my everything.

"I was in hospital" I say this time calmer than before

"For what?" He seemed genuinely surprised at what I said "I am not saying all you need to know is that iw as in hospital at the time of you finding out about your news"

"Y/N tell me why you were there we are dating and it is a serious matter I deserve to know" He spoke coming up to me and wrapping his strong arms around me "Please tell me" "I was hurting myself" That's all I said and I believe Jimin got the message after a couple of seconds because of the little gasp I heard and then he spun me around and kissed me firmly but still with a lot of passion and care

He stopped speaking about it and so did I, I knew the conversation wasn't over but right now wasn't the time to talk about it me finding out Jimin has Terminal Cancer and Jimin finding out I was self harming neither of us were right and all we needed for now was each other so that's what we did we just put a movie on and cuddled up until we fell asleep.

~The Next Morning~

J