Forever Yours (A Nigerian Hausa Love Story)✔️

Part Sixteen**

Things seem to be worse than before, way worse. Fauziyya and I will spend days without even a hum to each other, I don't know why it's bothering me. Maybe it's because I started getting used to living peacefully rather than fighting and we suddenly parted our different ways. I don't know what to do to go back to that time, it was just 3weeks back when we were okay and I still had Garba as a friend but now that is merely just the past. The past I would do anything to change.
    
But who needs him anyway, I could just hang out with Faisal although he's usually busy during weekdays and Yahya is never around during weekdays. At least if I go to Faisal's house Hafiz is there.

I come downstairs and pick my car keys on the dinning table. I walk inside the main parlor and see Fauziyya dusting. We make eye contact and I turn my head away first before I could get to the door she calls me.
"Abubakar?"
"Yes?" I answer not turning around.

"I'm tired. If you're not then you don't care but I am really tired"
"Tired of what?" I ask with a low tone turning around.
I have no idea why we were both talking in low tones.
  
"I'm tired of living like I am in a video game. I have become a shadow of myself. I can't concentrate in class and I cannot do anything right. Everywhere I go people tell me I have changed and change is a good thing just not in this case. When people say I have changed they don't mean it as a compliment at all."
   
"Fauziyya what do you want me to do?"
"Please let me go. Please" She kneels down on the floor. Her eyes were puffy and red. It was at that moment I realized that she did change and not in a good way. She was looking pale, she's skinnier she looks depressed and withdrawn. How didn't I notice? Was I too busy trying to make sure I didn't talk first?

I really am petty, with the way I am now how can I have my a child? I'm worthless.
    
"It's not going to be easy. You know that"
"And why won't it? You hate me"
    
"Maybe we can try to work things out"
"That is what I thought when we first got married until my aunt made me understand that once a guy hates you with all his heart it will never change, he can only try to love you out of pity—" I cut her off.
   
"—Like mama and baba"
"Exactly. If he falls in love with you at the end of the day then that means that he never truly hated you from the beginning"
    
"Hatred can't stop us from trying"
"To simply show you it can I want to ask you a question"
   
"Go ahead then"
"Why do you hate me?" She asks and I stay quiet. It's easy it's because...because...why do I hate her? I never thought of the reasons behind the hatred I feel for her.
   
"I have my reasons"
"You can't answer because you can't pinpoint what I did to you that made you hate me. Should I answer the question for you?"
   
I decide to sit, she gets up and sits next to me.
"You hate me because you don't have anyone to blame for your life decisions. You hate me because you hate it when your parents make decisions for you and I am part of those decisions, you don't want to blame them for your unhappiness because you love them so you decide to take all your anger out on the girl they chose for you"
    
"I make some decisions for myself, I'm a proud lawyer"
"You're only a lawyer because your father wanted you to be a lawyer, he imprinted the idea on your head since you were a child but I know deep down you feel you want to do something else".

   
She's right, I have always loved architecture but I just thought I liked the idea of designing houses. I am a hopeless case. In a way I have always known but I never wanted to accept the truth, so I made an innocent girl pay for my worthlessness.

"Giving love out of pity is the same reason you're here" she says.
    
"Excuse me? My parents love me"
"Not you. Your mum".
    
It's true, right?
"Your mum knew she was getting pity love so she tried all she can to make it become real love by working with your father and agreeing with any decision he makes, even on you. Till date she's still trying to change it, I don't want to live that kind of life I don't think I deserve it"
     
"Garba told you"
"That doesn't change anything, does it?