Ironic Supernatural Fan Fiction

The Ultimate Tetris Beatbox Battle

You pace around the morgue drooling over your nest mate sucking the blood out of a dead corpse. Nervously wondering if anyone can see your nest mate taking her turn to feed, you glance at the window. You're aware that the Winchesters are in town, hunting your nest, but your urge to feed couldn't be restrained any longer.

You and your nest mate, Thanosella, jump when your hear the door being kicked down, and two middle-aged hunters appear in the doorway. One of them has an anti-vaxx pin on next to his Girl Scout Daisy badge.

"How did you know we were in here?" you question, knowing that you two were careful to stay out of the window's line of sight.

"We just kinda guessed rawr XD," the tall one with the long hair replies. He gives him head a good shake and a few chunks of hair fall out, leaving many bald spots on his head.

"So if we weren't in here, you would have randomly kicked down for no reason?" Thanosella questions in her best Dr. Phil impression.

"Whatever," says the short one rumored to be known as Dean, "I hope you know what we're here to do. It's, to kill you!" He doesn't forget add the dramatic pause for extra effect. He swings his machete and does a few Ninjago moves for special effect.

"I think," Sam adds, "we should take this outside."

"In think," you say, mimicking their dramatic pauses, "not!" You always were a trickster, but you really pulled a sneaky on 'em this time.

You and Thanosella sprint out of the morgue after she snatched her infinity gauntlet off the chest of another corpse. You make it out to the parking lot before you realize your main gal, Thanosella, ditched you.

"Aww, drat!" you mutter, very cautious not to swear because you know that's the devil's language, and you anti-vaxx mother taught you better than that.

"Skiddly darn darn darn dang!" you say when you see Sam and Dean approaching you.

"We've got you now!" they say in unison.

You start to run away, but you are knocked off your feet by a strange force. You look behind you to see, to you surprise, Dean has transformed into Tetris Beatbox. Using "po no no no" he drags you toward him and wraps his hand around your neck. Sam uses this opportunity to swing his machete. You close your eyes, preparing for the blow. It is inches away from your neck for you hear a clatter and a bang. You peel your eyes open and swivel behind you. Sam and Tetris Beatbox are dead, by the hand of Barnacle Boy, your other lover.

He comes up to you and caresses your face, and he peels off a piece of your dead skin and adds it to his life-size body pillow of you.

"I will always be there for you," he says seductively. "I have to go my love."

"W-wait!" you begin to protest, but you blink and he's gone.