Ironic Supernatural Fan Fiction

Part 4: The Betrayal

Your babe Crowley is out on the town, and it really ruffled your feathers that you didn't get to have torture practice tonight. But, you got over it. You prance around in your tap shoes, only to be startled be the text alert in your Crowley's phone. You have an internal argument with your split personality as you consider your next course of action. Knowing the what's his is yours and what's yours, is yours, you pick up Crowley's phone and look at the message.

"Have you gotten that edgy girl to fall in love with you yet, so you can escape?" you read.

Your jaw drops. Sweat starts to roll down your toes as you remember all the red flags leading up to your Crowley's betrayal.

The text then goes on to explain Crowley's plan in full detail, for some reason, and you are extremely infuriated. "How could he do this to me?", you think to yourself. You knew it was too good to be true. Your love was to good as pure for this world to be real. Y'all were the ultimate power couple. You hear keys jingle and the door knob turn. You would never forgive Crowley, but you would like to play with your prey first.

"'Ello darlin!" he begins, "I got you some of those mayonnaise filled donuts that you like to use to trick the elderly at the park." He grins when he spots your tap shoes. He knew those only cans out on special occasions.

It was hard to stay mad at his toothy grin. His smile was never quite the same after he got a few teeth ripped out when you gave your grandfather, Elon, one of those donuts. I guess you know where you got your good tooth-ripping fingers from.

You fondle with your gun that you hide under your top hat at all times. You knew the second you pulled it out, things would never be the same. But alas, you remember that you're edgy.

You pull out a gun and hold it up against Crowley.

"Whatcha doing there bæ?" he questions.

When he hears the safety click off he starts to sweat bullets. You take them off his forehead for extra ammo just incase you have too much fun shooting him up. The doctor never really did explain why Crowley sweated bullets, but it certainly helped him when he killed Thanos.

"I know about your little scheme!" you exclaim, putting a little extra effect into the word scheme. "You were just using me, playing with my feelings, but now, you'll pay," you hiss, knowing Crowley is fluent in Parseltongue.

You shoot him mercilessly.

He chokes out his last words, "I'll always love the rustic taste of your blood, my love."

You wonder when he tasted your blood, but didn't dwell on the strange thought for long. "He even put up with the act to the end," you murmur. You pack up your things spitefully, knowing you should have gone through with your plan to trade Crowley for as many pigs as he was now worth. I mean, that man could juggle.