Eating Disorder Recovery Journal

Let's Beat ED ass!

• B O N U S - P A R T •

Hello everyone!

My Neptunus! After postponing writing this article for hundred years!

Like what I've ever told you all I had been dealing with eating disorders for almost 6 years. I know I've ever told you that it was 5 years, but you know I could be so dumb at counting, not for my money tho!

I can tell you how hard it is dealing with those shits. Anorexia? Bulimia? Binge? Ha! Fuck those assholes! I'm so proud of finding my current self thinking about Eating Disorder this way. I cannot fully hate it tho, it taught me lots of lessons. I'm growing and even still growing after the recovery, learn to be more respectful to myself and others. Is it only me or are you having the same thought that 'respect' has that kind of similar meaning with 'love'. They are just such a powerful words! What's your the most powerful word? Comment below!

Oh my oh my! Back to the topic!

It was a hardest thing ever in my life. Seriously. So whoever is struggling with this mental illness, you better seek help! Or whoever thinks you want to have it or has a thought or wishes if only you had this mental illness..... DON'T!!!!!

And I'm here just to give you the advice, I'm not the psychologist or psychiatrist or even the therapist. I am just a mental illnesses fighter.

So here we go with my own advice after hundred times failed and finally this one works on me!

*Everyone has different their own ways to recover themselves from eating disorders don't follow mine once you feel it's not giving you any good stuff or feelings*

FIRST

You have to commit. Seriously guys, that's the key of all, your own self!! You probably got to seek help from the psychologist/psychiatrist/therapist, but after all your money spent out without any purpose, just say good bye to your future. Maybe, just maybe, six years are not the right number to say that I'm a truly fighter since you've known some survivors those are struggling for 13 years already. But I know about 'don't be too hard to yourself' thingy. But for this one, you have to commit. With your fully willingness of the better future. Not only trying, guys, 'trying' word only makes you want to give some space for your eating disorders!

SECOND

This one is the second mostly hardest thing ever. Forgiveness and acceptance. No matter who you are having the problem with, let the anger go, don't hold it. Honey, even sometimes people don't give a fuck about whatever you are doing, so why do even you need to give a fuck on what they are thinking about you? Let it go. HA! What a biggest bullshit! But I know how it feels and hurts us, and we enjoyed the pain somehow. It sucks, dude.

But firstly, try to forgive yourself and all those fucking problems that happened 5 or 10 fucking years ago. Or even the guilty feeling just because you were born into this shitty life. Darling, you are living for a purpose, God definitely has his own purpose in your life, so don't you ever, don't you ever, DON'T YOU EVER TRY TO KILL YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU ARE LOVED!!

You all are only live once, so please try your best to give the best to yourself!!

No matter how shitty you feel, you are actually amazing. Let's make the challenge. On week challenge! And don't cheat! Write any compliments you get every single day from anyone, only the compliments, and thing makes you feel happy or even grateful. Only the positive stuff!! And put it on the walls or your mirror, door, wherever you can see it most of the times!

Got it? See how it affects you!

Acceptance tho. The fuck.

I used to hate it,  but yet still learning... Well well fully belly, we learn every single day to be the greatest self, because before you choose to spread and fill others with love and positive stuff, you have to start it all with yourself in the first place.

All the way is heading to the 'let go' part. The purity of willing to be free will lead you all to the 'fully healed' part. Bae, I know it is hard as hell, there will be mountains in each step, but keeping the to stay still and fight for the better you, are all worth it. You are much more than any other stupid standards this society gives to us. Fuck those standards. It's time to stand out because show must go on and the world have to see us shining!

THIRD

I know you probably could judge me that I'm telling you about being Orthorexic (the one who is struggling about what kind of food they better eat, all depends on how healthy it is), and be strict to whatever you are eating. Nope!

Well, I've warned you that everyone has their own way to do their own recovery. But first, I love Coffee Latte, but now I add the soy milk in it instead. Small step guys, small step, just to make us feel comfortable.

Drink lot of water, warm water would be much better. This way could probably help those who are having binge eating disorder. Again, please set your mind first that this is not for cutting calories but to be back to your truly self! Because drinking warm water is actually helping to do natural detox and help you to digest foods and make your metabolism much better, those are helping your stomach to send you the signal to your brain whenever you feel enough, and stop eating when it needs to be stopped. But again, it's all about giving the best to yourself. Can you imagine that your skin is more glowing just because you drink a lot of water? Cheap and it must work!

Eat, when you need to eat. Try to listen to your body. Body always gives us the signal whenever it wants or needs something and what it wants to be fed with. It will give you the signal whenever it's too much or you actually need to be more hydrated. Drink drink drink drink! Eat eat eat! Don't starve yourself guys, seriously, because YOLO!!!!! Because when you start trying to limit yourself, that's the time when eating disorder getting more space in you. CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT PIZZA AND CHEESE CAKE?! I need to calm down.

FOURTH

STOP PITYING YOURSELF BUT GO ENCOURAGE YOURSELF AND FEED THE SOUL WITH LOVE! FUCK THOSE NEGATIVITIES!  

FIFTH

Come out from your shelf. Take the guard off. You all know what I mean. Being/feeling sick seems nice and safe sometimes, but till when?

Seek help. Commit. Forgive. Accept. Let go.

Guys, I believe you all know the key. Yourself.

Listen to this song :

Open Hands - Laura Story ft. Mac Powell

And just say, "God, I'm so clueless, help me, lead me.... Take it all....."

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May all those who read my wattpad feel the blessing, may all of you feel the peace and be recovered one day. It's hard but all worth it. The wounds won't be healed by how time flies, you do need time, but you are the one who treat the wounds, give it the best medicine you think it's the best one, it hurts, but it's all about process. You are loved and always be loved. Let's give yourself the best stuff, moments, memories.

God bless you all

Much love xx,

G

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What advice you have to help others to beat eating disorders? Comment below!

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xoxo