Byakuya's diary: notes to Hisana

4. Ripples in the pond... silence, and the moon

My dearest,

It has been a while since I spoke to you at length, has it not… My responsibilities as captain of the 6th squad have increased of late and thereby the demands on my time. I am not complaining, nor will I ever. Duty is precisely that, and I shall do all that is expected of me.

I can hear the wind outside, a keening that is not pleasing to the ears. And the water in our garden pond that is agitated, lapping the shore because of this wind.

I feel a little…odd. I do not know how else to tell you.

Have I done something wrong? In all these years… I have tried my best to do everything properly, all that is expected of me as a man, a leader of the Kuchiki clan, a ranking officer of the 13 court guards. I have never shirked any responsibility, never treated anyone in any way that could be termed impropriety of any manner. Least of all, with Rukia. After forty years under my care, she still does not approach me for anything.

Am I not everything an older brother must be to her. I have ensured she does not want for anything, that her every need is catered to, that she is safe…As safe as a Shinigami can be. Never have I given her a reason to not trust me. And yet, I must learn from Ukitake that she has been transferred to the world of the living for a month. Had I not known her well enough, I would take that as disrespect of our relationship and an insult to me as an older brother. However, Rukia has never been anything but respectful. Why then, would she not inform me of the transfer in person? Does she fear me? That has never been my intention. Respect and trust is an honor. Fear is too, though only from an opponent. Not from my sister.

I suppose I should not find it odd that she would be assigned to the world of the living. It has been 40 years since she was inducted into the 13th squad. One assignment by herself away from the Soul Society should not be surprising after all this time. Nor should it cause alarm. And yet, it does. Am I being unreasonable? I would be loathe to think I am. I have not acted upon the impulse to follow her and ensure her safety. One should not give in to impulses, emotions. The heart should never rule the mind. I do believe concern is within limits of reason, as it is my duty to care for her.

I am not sure what contributes more to the mild discomfort I feel, however. The fact that she left without informing me, or the fact that she is out there by herself.

There are no reports from the Onmitsukido of anything that Rukia cannot handle in the world of the living. Ukitake mentioned only a regular assignment. She will finish the same and return soon as is expected of her. I shall not impose.

I do, however, expect her to not repeat this. Perhaps I will take this up when she returns.

I feel better for talking to you, my love. You always listened, you always understood. Even when there was not a word spoken, you listened…Do you hear it now? The ripples on the surface of our pond, they have quelled… It is much more peaceful than earlier. There is a gentle breeze now. And yet another full moon, its reflection dancing on those soft ripples. It’s beauty is nothing compared to you, my beloved…But you would have liked the view.
Stay with me a while longer, watch this moon with me like you used to...

Byakuya