She’s safe. At long last, Rukia is safe again, as safe as a Shinigami can be.
Hisana, my love, I apologize for leaving so suddenly yesterday. I had to go to her… I kept my promise, Hisana. I took the blade Ichimaru sent towards her, I held her away from Aizen. It was all I could do at the time, but I did… I shudder to think of what would have happened if I arrived a second late. But I did… If only I had realized earlier. Nothing was worth her life. You knew, did you not. You gave up yours looking for her. I know now that we must protect those that are precious to us, at whatever cost. I owe thanks to that human boy for this realization. And to Renji. I was blind, Hisana. I would like to think I am not, after all this.
I told Rukia. She knows. She knows who you were to her, what she is to me. Forgive me, but I had to tell her. She believed I adopted her simply because she resembled my dead wife. She believed I did not care for her wellbeing, that her being alive did not matter to me… Poor child.
Hisana, when you were here, did I come across as cold hearted, ever…? Perchance, my heart cooled once you left this plane… I built walls of propriety and laws and rules around myself... And so those closest to me never knew the truth. They never knew how much I valued them… I must let them know. From time to time, I must.
I am now looking out this window from my room in the 4th division barracks, and there is peace and order in the Seiretei. In my chambers as well. Of course I have been allotted my own chambers several flights up, befitting a Squad Captain. But that does not seem to deter a parade of Ryoka from invading my space. They come in like tornadoes, they do… even through these open widows. That boy especially. Kurosaki Ichigo. He insists on calling me without honorifics or my titles, though I feel letting it slip is the least I could do at present. I do owe him for everything he did to save my sister. And Renji keeps watch at all times. He refuses to leave. I am certain he must have asked himself why I was still alive, at some point between my defeating him and Aizen's betrayal and departure… though he refuted that as well. But it is difficult for me to open up. I know I must and I shall make sure I do, so I may not repeat the mistakes I have made in the recent past. I must admit though, it is a bit odd, expressing every emotion I feel when I am used to keeping them all in check. Ah well. I shall choose which ones to express then. I really wish you were here, Hisana. You would have helped.
Rukia is doing well. Her injuries are healing at a good pace. She went to Shiba Kukaku to apologize for Kaien's death. A good thing as I understand that she harboured that guilt all of these years, even though it was not her fault. It pleases me to think of her as free of this particular burden. She sent word that the Shiba clan have asked her to dine with them tonight. I shall ask after her once she returns.
The Ryoka will return to earth tomorrow. Rukia will stay here. She chose to stay. I am glad that is what she chose.
I am tired, still. These past few weeks were… strenuous. 4th Squad captain has done her very best and most of my wounds have healed, but that is not what I meant. I feel some burden has lifted from my shoulders too, Hisana… I shall protect her, take care of her, let her know she has a brother who values her very much. I look forward to returning home, knowing for certain she is safe and unharmed at all times… And I look forward to watching the moon with you once again, unencumbered by doubts and feelings of unrest. I will wait for the full moon and the peach blossoms…And you…
Until next time, my darling…
All my love,
Byakuya.
YOU ARE READING
Byakuya's diary: notes to Hisana
FanfictionJust as Byakuya Kuchiki talks to his late wife Hisana's photograph, he writes to her... moments of peace and calm, which feels much the same to him as conversing with that beloved image at her shrine. - My interpretation of Byakuya's actions, though...
