I lost, Hisana. I lost, and I am lost. I fought with all I had for everything I believed was right, even when my heart screamed otherwise. I walked past her when they put her on the execution stand, not sparing one glance. I fought with my own emotions, I fought with Renji, I fought that human boy Kurosaki. They gave every drop of their blood and their last ounce of strength to save her, and I forced myself to do the opposite.
Why… why could I not save her, the girl for whom I broke laws and protocols and customs for over 50 years, whom I vowed to protect with all my strength, why did I stand by when they sentenced her, when they strung her up and crucified her…When strangers were willing to die over and over again for her, why could I not do more for her… That boy Kurosaki said he would fight the law, in my position. In my position… I would have scoffed at that earlier, but now… The futility and pointlessness of everything around me now is staggering.
I find that everything in life is a choice. And I chose wrong. Nothing is black and white. The law is not always the last word. Punishment is not always justice. Sentences are not always fair. And I, as a brother, I should have been there for her instead of leaving her to the system.
My sword is destroyed. I gave my word that I would not pursue Rukia or her saviors any more. Perchance there is something more that I can do in this situation, but I cannot decide on a course of action other than to stay out of the way. I am so tired, my love…I know I do not deserve the title of elder brother. I –
Ah. I hear the Tenteikura. Squad 4 Captain has an announcement. I wonder if Rukia –
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Byakuya's diary: notes to Hisana
FanfictionJust as Byakuya Kuchiki talks to his late wife Hisana's photograph, he writes to her... moments of peace and calm, which feels much the same to him as conversing with that beloved image at her shrine. - My interpretation of Byakuya's actions, though...
