Love Island

15. The Aftermath

Day 10
Couples:
Asher and James
Hannah and Dougie
Jodie and Kyle
Skye and Alex
Violetta and Taylor
Zoe and Sam

I run through the villa, up the stairs to the balcony, so I can at least get some air as well as be away from everyone. But it isn't long before I hear footsteps in the villa, and I'm hoping and praying that it isn't James who's come to look for me. I turn round and see that it's Jodie, Dougie and Asher who've come to check on me. And if it wasn't for the tears streaming down my face, I'd probably be quite happy to see them right now.

"Are you alright?" Dougie asks, sitting down right next to me, taking my hand in his. I can't gather words right now, so I merely shake my head from side to side. "I know you were scared, but James didn't know that was you turning him around, he got angry because other guys were hitting on you. He really loves you, Vee."

"I know." I reply with a sniff, trying to keep it together. "But I always saw James as the type that would never hurt me, then when I saw him about to punch me, whether it was a misunderstanding or not, it made me realise that I never saw him for who he is. It's like I've been looking at him with rose tinted glasses or something." I breathe a sigh when I finish talking, and Asher sits down on the other side of me, and somehow it's Asher who makes me feel the most comfortable. It's funny how quickly things can change in this place. "Maybe I just expect too much."

"Look Vee, I'm saying this because I love you and I want you to be happy." She starts, and that already tells me that I'm not going to like what she has to say, but clearly I need to hear it. "I've told you before that I was jealous of yours and James' relationship, everyone knows you're the strongest couple in here. I'm sure Sam only said that to get a reaction out of James, and it worked. He was probably just trying to weaken your relationship so that he's got a better chance of winning after he finds a girl that actually likes him." This causes me to laugh a little, and I momentarily feel better again, but then the sadness overwhelms me and I'm right back where I was a few seconds ago. "Maybe you don't expect too much, maybe you just expect the worst. That's why you see James as this horrible monster that we all know he's not."

I don't say anything, what could I possibly say? I understand what she's saying, it does make a lot of sense. But that doesn't mean that I'm ready to leap back into James' arms. I just need some time alone. "We're not forcing you to be with him, Vee." Jodie comments, breaking the silence. "If you think you'd be happier without him then we'll all support that decision." I glance at the others and they're nodding along in agreement with Jodie. "But don't throw away a guy that cares so much about you at the first sign of trouble."

"After everything that's happened to you in here, you deserve a happy ending." Dougie comments with a smile, squeezing my hand tight.

Maybe this is the pessimistic side of me speaking; who am I kidding? Of course this is the pessimistic side of me speaking. "Happy endings aren't always what we think they'll be."

"You don't mean that." Asher tells me, "But I understand why you think it. Trust me, I've had my fair share of bad break ups and rampages." She smiles a small smile, which causes me to smile too. "And that means that I learnt I long time ago that when you find something, or someone, worth fighting for, you never give up. No matter what."

I turn to face Dougie and Jodie, who are sat on the opposite side to me that Asher is. "Guys, I really appreciate you coming here to check on me, but could I be with Asher for a moment?" I ask, and they seem somewhat shocked that I chose her over them.

"Okay, just give us a shout if you need us." Dougie says with a smile, then kisses me on the forehead before leaving.

"It'll be alright, Vee, I promise." Jodie says, leaving alongside Dougie.

I turn back to Asher, and I'm so thankful to have her as a friend now. If it wasn't for her, I'd probably be hyperventilating and screaming at the top of my lungs. "What happened?" I ask, wanting to know how she became so wise. "To you and the guy that you loved?" Asher has told me before that she acts tough because of a bad break up, but I can tell that she's speaking about someone else. The guy that came after.

She takes a deep breath before replying. "We started to drift apart, which is natural. It happens in every relationship at some point." She starts to explain. "But I made the stupid mistake of accusing him of cheating on me. That's when all the trust disappeared. I loved him more than life itself but I let our stupid little argument get in the way of what we had. And that's when he walked away, and I knew I'd lost the boy that I never thought I'd be able to replace."

"And then you found Taylor?" I question, wondering if he's helped her learn to trust again.

"Yeah." She smiles, like a little school girl revealing her crush.

"How did you get past it?" I ask, "how did you find someone new?"

And when she says this, she sounds like she could be the smartest person in the universe. "If you live in the past, you'll never find your future." And as the words escape her mouth, I lunge towards her, wrapping my arms around her. I hold her tight, never wanting our hug to come to an end.

"Thank you, Asher." I whisper, "you're such a good friend." I pull away from our hug, and notice that Asher's eyes are starting to tear up. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." She smiles, wiping her eyes. "I've just never really been any good at the whole friends things."

As we both start smiling, we get interrupted by someone walking onto the balcony. "Asher, could I speak with Violetta alone please?" James asks, and Asher looks at me for guidance.

I give her a small nod, and she gets up. "Don't break her." She warns him as she leaves. And those three words really pack a punch.

"Vee, I'm so sorry." He starts, sitting down next to me. And this causes me to shuffle away a little. "It was an accident, I didn't know it was you."

"You scared me." I tell him quite forcefully.

"I know." He admits, seeming disappointed in himself. "And I'm sorry."

"You've already said that." I remark, tired of him apologising for something that I'm not going to forgive and forget any time soon. Aggression is something I'm just incapable of forgiving, especially because of everything I've been through.

"And I'll keep saying it until you believe me." He begs, and he seems utterly genuine. "I love you so much, Violetta, more than I've ever loved anyone."

"I'm sorry." I tell him, and now I'm the one apologising. "But I can't do this. At least for a little while, we need a break."

"No." He says, and he seems to be on the edge of tears. "I'm not going to lose you."

I take a deep breath before replying, "You already have." And with that, I stand up and leave him on the balcony alone, letting him regret everything he's done tonight.