Love Island

24. Family

Day 42 continued

I can feel everyone gathered around me, but that just makes things worse. I just want to be alone, otherwise I know I'll just get worse. "Violetta." I hear James say, clearly quite worried but trying to keep himself together. "It's okay, just breathe. Everything's alright."

I look up at him, tears in my eyes, not being able to stop. And I try my best to speak between breaths, but I'm not sure how audible I am right now. "I can't...I need to...get out." I se the panic on James' face, and he exchanges a look with Dougie, trying to figure out what to do. And I can't hear what they're saying to each other, my breathing is too loud, but before I know it everyone is leaving the room and it's just me, James, Dougie and Jodie left in the hallway.

But out of everyone, it's Dougie who takes control. He takes my hand in his and attempts to reassure me. "Just squeeze tight, it doesn't hurt, I promise." He says, trying his best to calm me down. "Just squeeze tight for as long as you need to."

"I...can't." I try to say, trying my best to tell him that I can't breathe, that my throat is burning and it feels like I could potentially suffocate at any second.

"Just focus on breathing." He says, almost reading my mind. "Long, deep breaths. Okay?"

~*~

"There's not much that can't be fixed by a cup of tea." James says, bringing me a mug as I'm sat on the sofa with Jodie's arm round my waist and Dougie sat on the floor looking up at me.

"Thank you." I smile, taking the cup of tea off of him. "All of you, for being there." I look down, trying to avoid eye contact when I say the next bit. "I'm sorry that you had to see that."

"Are you kidding?" Jodie asks, and when I look at her I notice that there's a soft smile on her face. "You don't need to be embarrassed. We're your best friends in here, we're basically family."

I don't say anything, and neither does Jodie it either of the boys. But we all exchange small, soft smiles, and I can't speak for the others but it fills me with warmth. Almost like a reassurance that everything is going to be okay. And with that, I pull Jodie into a hug, nearly spilling my tea everywhere, and then the boys join in. As strange as it is, we really are like a family; but then again, they always say that friends are the family that you choose. And I would choose these guys over and over again.

"You good?" Dougie questions, pulling away from our little group hug.

I nod slowly in response, "Yeah, I'm much better now, thanks."

"In that case, I'm going to go to bed." Dougie replies, standing up from his seat, "I'm absolutely shattered."

"Yeah, I'll join you." Jodie adds, "you coming, Vee?"

I think for a moment, "nah," I finally reply, "I think I'll stay here a little longer, finish my tea. I'll be in there in a minute though."

"I'll stay here with her." James tells them, and they both smile before making their way to the bedroom. Then he turns to me and says, "I've never seen someone have a panic attack before, I didn't know what was happening, I was so scared."

"Sorry, I should have told you." I apologise, turning to look at him. "Gave you a bit of warning."

"It's okay, it's over now, I'm just happy that you're alright." Then he places his arm around my shoulders, enclosing me in a sideways hug. "And if it ever happens again I'll be right by your side."

"I know." I say, the words escaping my mouth without me properly thinking about it. But it's true, I do know that he'll always be right there by my side through the ups and downs. Through it all I'll always have him, and I'll always love him. So it's no surprise when I say the next part. "When we leave this place, how would you feel about moving in together?"

He looks at me in disbelief for a moment, but when a smile creeps onto his face, I instantly feel reassured. "I'd want nothing more." He then leans in to give me a brief kiss, "I think I need to step up my game." He jokes, but I don't fully understand.

"What do you mean?" I ask, looking him dead in the eyes, not looking away for a second.

"Well you asked me to be your boyfriend, and now you've asked me to move in with you." He explains, and as he says it I feel slightly embarrassed, it makes me look so desperate. "You're proving how much you love me and I barely get the chance, you keep beating me to it."

I giggle a little before replying, "trust me, everything you do shows me just how much you love me. I don't need big gestures or anything, it's the little things that you do without even thinking about it."

And before I know it, our lips come colliding together, and I just feel safe. And I realise that in James' arms is the only place that I've get completely safe and that everything is going to be okay in the last few years.

~*~

Authors note:
I'm so sorry for not uploading in a while and for the really short chapter; I'm right in the middle of A-levels at the moment and have been super stressed out. Hopefully the next few chapters will be released soon, I'll do my best!