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Chapter 4 // Maybe

The next morning Kara paces around in her home office, it's Wednesday. Apparently that means work from home day. Lena works from her home office and Kara from hers. Last night was amazing, but it just doesn't feel right. Every part of it. She slept with Lena fucking Luthor. James's girlfriend... well not his girlfriend anymore. But all she knows are those two together. She did dream a couple times about sleeping with Lena... but this was so much better. 

But she can't just... she can't. It felt like cheating. And Kara isn't a person who would do that. No, no. She would break up with the other person, but that can't be done. Since James and Lena never were a pair. No, now Lena is her fiancee. Rao... her fiancee. She isn't prepared for that, not yet at least. Look, Lena might be the perfect woman but how could she ever go from best friends to fiances. 

Look, she absolutely loves Lena. There is no doubt about that, but the fact that she just made love to her for the first time... that's something new. Not that she doesn't like it. She does, she absolutely does. But- She just can't... it feels so wrong yet so right. So perfect. A chuckle escaping something startles her, she stops walking and quickly turns to the door to see Lena standing there, still in her casual clothes. 

She looks just shocked, Kara not Lena, with her mouth hanging a bit open. Lena crosses the space between them and puts her arms around Kara's neck. She slowly moves her mouth to Kara's ear and whispers, making sure her hot breath leaves goosebumps, "You are catching flies, darling." She chuckles when Kara shakes her head. Regaining herself and closes her mouth. She mutters an irritated "Thanks" and this makes Lena full on laugh. Kara slowly turns red, she doesn't feel ashamed of what Lena said more ashamed of herself that she did that, said it like that. 

Lena gives her cheek a kiss, leaving a mark of her signature red lipstick. Then she lets go of Kara and walks to the couch in the office. She sits down and pats the spot beside her. Kara quickly makes her way over, she doesn't know what to aspect... but her mind is being an ass right now. It's just thinking about all the ways she could let the world and Lena know that Lena is her mate, and her mate only. One of the bad sides of being Kryptonian, she basically imprinted on Lena. Which means she will get nervous if she hadn't seen Lena in quite some time or get jealous quite quickly, things like that. 

Lena speaks up "Kara, darling. What is wrong?" Kara looks like a deer in headlights at Lena, so Lena immediately knows she is right, something is wrong. Kara only chuckles nervously, messes a bit with her glasses and than says with her voice a bit too high "I had hoped you had missed it. I now know I couldn't fool you." Lena places her soft hand on Kara's knee and squeezes a little to reassure Kara that she can speak about it.

So Kara speaks "I- I don't know what is actually wrong, I am dealing with some stuff- Before you are going to say that we will get through this together- I just- It feels like I need to do this alone. It kinda feels like I am using you and I have absolutely no idea why," Which is a lie, she knows why. "Everything feels so good, yet so wrong at the same time. I love you and that won't change. But why do I feel like this is a bit question." Lena nods along with the story but Kara doesn't see much of it. She has her eyes fixated on the television, that isn't even turned on, in front of her.

Another squeeze makes her gaze move from the television to Lena. Lena just smiles this soft smile that shows her dimples. When Lena is sure Kara truly has all attention for her she says "Thank you for sharing this with me, I can say that you aren't using me. But that won't be good enough. We both know that. But still that is one of the two things I can do, so I will give it a shot," Lena takes a deep breath and starts  "You Kara Zor-El Danvers, soon to be Kara Zor-El Luthor, are remarkable. I couldn't wish for a better partner. From the late night foot massages to the breakfast in bed. You do it all. You know how to make a person feel better, you can read me like no other,"

Lena smiles only grows with each word "But Kara, you got something way better out of it. Your soulmate, your mate. You imprinted on me and now we are something like one. You said that this didn't often happen on Krypton but it did. It showed true love. Love that would be there for ever, it would survive through everything. Every doubt, every mistake and every bad feeling. Right now you might feel bad because you think you are using me but you are so wrong. You are far from it. Because this- What we have, is a two way street. I give to you and you give to me. You won't be using me because I am yours and you are mine. Two ways. So Kara Zor-El, don't doubt. It is all okay." Kara slowly shakes her head, she wishes to believe it. But she just can't. It won't work.

So Lena suddenly is in her lap and husks in Kara's ear. "That means I need to the other thing to let you see how much I need you, want you and use you."

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A/N Hello! I have a bit of a personal problem so I don't know if I will write anytime soon. But this story won't be forgotten. If you want to see something, something like game night just send it. Because sometimes it's quite hard to figure out what you exactly want to do. So all the ideas are welcome.

-Rebecca