You Make Me Okay (phan)

Chapter 15

***Dan's pov***

I woke up the same way I had yesterday; except some things had changed.

Instead of my arms wrapped around Phil, his arms were wrapped around me, and he was actually there.

I remembered then what happened and that I couldn't give in to him, and that although I didn't want to, I had to pull away.

I harshly shoved his hands away and sprang out of bed. He wiped his eyes open and looked at me, but I only glared at him and walked out of the room, his footsteps following.

"Dan." I ignored him and kept walking.

"Dan please." I reached the couch and sat down.

He sat down beside me and cautiously put his hand on my shoulder. I didn't shrug it off, I just ignored it.

"Dan?"

"What do you want Phil?"

He looked surprised I answered but he gulped and began to explain himself. I let him; you see, usually in the movies, they never get to explain themselves, and that ends up being the crucial mistake. So I let him speak.

"Dan, listen okay. Don't interrupt me because there's a lot I have to say."

I turned to him and nodded. His face looked relieved, probably because I was actually looking at him. I almost smiled thinking about how much I effect him; even though I was still mad at him.

"Okay. I was really mad at you; I knew you were scared and I was too, but I didn't realize until last night what you meant. Your afraid of hospitals?" He asked, and I didn't want to speak just yet so I just nodded.

"That's what I thought. But yesterday I thought you meant about what would happen with Alyssa," he paused. "Oh, she's fine for now, by the way. I'll explain more after." He said continuing, "so yesterday I thought you were only afraid of what would happen with Alyssa, and I was too, and I was angry because I couldn't understand why if you were concerned, then you wouldn't want to go see her. So I got pissed and left, that much you know." I nodded.

"When I got to the hospital, I walked into Alyssa's room and there was Brenda. She was sitting there and she was looking at Alyssa, but she was smiling. I walked in and asked her why she was there. She told me she owed Alyssa a visit. Then she got up and walked over to me," this doesn't sound right. But Phil wouldn't lie to me, would he? "And she started circling me. It was really weird. Then I thought of you and how I would do anything to see you laugh or smile, as she started walking closing to me. Then she pushed me against the wall and it was like my breath stopped; like I actually couldn't breath." He looked at me, and I tried my best to make my expression unreadable; I think I failed.

"Please believe me about this. I would never lie to you, Dan." I nodded. We'll see.

"Anyway, so that's when she kissed me, I was still mad at you, and I don't know what made me do it. Maybe I missed you, maybe it was revenge, but I started kissing back. And then you walked in..." He trailed off.

"Are you done?" I finally spoke. My voice sounded tired.

I wasn't surprised by the story. I believed Phil, because I don't know what part he would be making up if he admitted to kissing back; maybe the fact that she kissed him?

"No. One more thing." He looked into my eyes. Oh no, he wouldn't do it, would he?

He can't.

"Dan Howell." No.

"I love you." That was the first time either of us had said it properly; and I believed him. What he did was wrong and the reasoning was shaky, but I know he really does love me and what is the point of spending time apart if I love him too. People make mistakes.

If this were some cliche movie, I wouldn't forgive him.

I wouldn't be happy, I would be angry. But I'm not, because this is not a cliche movie.

This is a cliche book.

I started leaning in first, and he met me there; we kissed and fireworks flew - hey, I know this is terrible, but a cliche book has gotta live up to its name- and I couldn't believe I hadn't realized it sooner. I did love him. I love Phil Lester. My Phil. I love him.

When we pulled away, I remembered something. I frowned.

"What about Alyssa?"

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Dun DUN DUNNHYJSOA

okay. Bye.