Smoke Trail - Junjou Romantica

Chapter 5 : Deadly thoughts

Chapter 5 is here! >^> I had terrible typos in the last chapter but hopefully I fixed them all. I hate typos... I don't own Junjou Romantica! But yay! I own this fanfiction~

Misaki POV

I managed to escape that awkward confrontation with Usagi. Thankfully the food had finished cooking so I scooped out our servings onto our plates. I gave myself a lot less than usual.

I want Usagi to eat yummy food

Usagi raised a brow when I sat down with him, pretending to forget what had happened.

"Misaki.. Isn't that not enough?"

I could hear the worry in Usagi's kind voice, I shook my head.

"No Usagi I'm fine.. I don't have much of an appetite"

That was a valid excuse and it was true, I actually didn't feel hungry at all.

Usagi looked at me with concern.

"Misaki.. You need to eat you can't starve yourself"

I shook my head and quickly scooped up the few forkfuls of eggs and three octopi sausages I had given myself.

"I'm full Usagi I really am, I'm going to go for a walk okay?"

I'm sorry Usagi, I know I should be spending all of my time with you but.. I need time to think.

"Misaki wait, want me to go with you?.."

The concern in his voice was obvious.

I'm sorry for making you worry..I promise I'll come back..

"No Usagi! It's cold out, I don't want you falling ill again"

Usagi opened his mouth to say something but I stuffed one of his octopi sausages into his mouth with my fork. The look of surprise on his face was hilarious.

"No buts Usagi, I'm going for a walk, alone"

I used a teasing voice then left Usagi to his food. I grabbed the new brown coat Usagi had bought me and put on my shoes.

I quickly ran out the door and ran until I reached the park me and Usagi once built snow mans at. I had to run before Usagi changed his mind and decided to follow me.

I don't think Usagi could find me right away now

I stopped running and started to walk along the street, not paying attention to anything except for traffic lights, as I pondered over my thoughts.

I'm scared.. I'm so scared, I can't believe this is happening..

All because I didn't stop Usagi from smoking.. I wish it was me instead..

I should be the one dying, not Usagi.. He has so much success in life... While me?

I'm just a kid who doesn't know what to do with their life..

Usagi's life is more valuable than mine.. If only there was a way to switch who was dying..

I walked until my legs felt tired, I looked around and realized I was on a old bridge that went out of service a few years ago. I leaned on the handrail for rest, surprised about where I was.

How did I get here?

I sighed and looked down at the bottom, it had a semi-shallow fast moving river underneath. I spotted fishes and began to admire them, happy that I had fish to distract me.

Heh, maybe I'll hop down in two months..

I heard the handrail start to crack and I felt myself falling forward, Everything was moving slow, I heard the sound of car tiers and I saw Usagi almost at me, he was reaching out his hand to catch me, fear filled his lavender eyes.

Usagi POV

Misaki escaped from our confrontation how he usually did, he changed the topic. I was slightly happy that the foods smell had interrupted us.

I don't want to argue with my Misaki

I raised a brow, as Misaki gave himself barely any food and filled my plate.

"Misaki.. Isn't that not enough?"

I was worried that he would keep only eating little morsels of food from now.

I don't want Misaki to fall I'll too..

Misaki shook his head.

"No Usagi I'm fine.. I don't have much of an appetite"

I guess that's a decent reason.. I don't blame him for not having an appetite but still.. That's not enough food

I looked at Misaki concerned.

"Misaki.. You need to eat you can't starve yourself"

Misaki didn't listen, he just shook his head and shovelled his food down quickly, barely chewing.

Misaki that's dangerous.. You could have choked..

"I'm full Usagi I really am, I'm going to go for a walk okay?"

A walk? Why would he want to go have a walk? It's freezing out.

"Misaki wait, want me to go with you?.."

I didn't want to leave him alone.

"No Usagi! It's cold out, I don't want you falling ill again"

I opened my mouth to argue but Misaki stuffed one of my octopi sausages into my mouth surprising me.

"No buts Usagi, I'm going for a walk, alone"

Misaki sounded teasing then he grabbed his coat and shoes and ran out the door.

Maybe some time alone would be best for Misaki after all

Maybe he needs time to begin to accept that I'm going to die. Maybe he is afraid of what will happen when I'm gone...

Wait.. What will happen?

Will he be forced to go back to Takahiro's?.. That won't do.. Misaki would be upset that he was disturbing them even though Takahiro adores him.

Will Misaki live on his own?... No.. He can't afford to.. He'd never accept any money I would leave him..

Misaki... You must be so anxious and confused..

I looked at the clock, it had been a few hours since I allowed Misaki to go off on his walk, worry was beginning to gnaw at my stomach.

I don't care if Misaki gets mad, I'm worried..

I went outside and started to search for Misaki in my red sports car, I spotted him in the distance, he was leaning lazily on the old bridge.

I sighed with relief and started driving towards him, I exited the car and started to walk towards Misaki, he didn't seem to have noticed me.

I suddenly heard a sickening crack, the handrail Misaki was leaning on broke. Misaki started to fall, I ran towards Misaki with my arm outstretched, terrified of losing him, Misaki's eyes were filled with fear.

Me: chapter 5 is finished! :D aren't I evil for leaving the chapter like that?

Misaki: >^> yes you are...

Me: >^> well there's so many possibilities to choose from... Hehe

Misaki: o.o *gulp*

Usagi: o.o .....

Me: ^~^ grr I don't know what I want to happen~ well anyway hope ya liked the chapter~