"Let's get one thing straight: I am not mute."
*Cut to footage of Chell screaming as she fires a weapon*
"Re-integrating into society is harder than most people realize. Think of every time you've had to show ID. I'll wait..."
*Cut to Chell screaming as she ambushes an enemy scout, who drops his weapon and screams in terror as he falls in an infinite loop*
"Lunatic? Really? Is that what they've been saying? You've interviewed some of these people, no doubt you've seen what I'm talking about. Bloodlust—"
*Cut to an enemy soldier being flung through a portal into a wall, which he slides down*
"Safety isn't in the job description to begin with, but come on! Rocket jumping?! Son idiotas!"
*Cut to footage of Chell screaming as she knocks over an enemy sentry*
"It's not that I wouldn't prefer 'honest' work, it's just not possible without a social security number. This pays the bills!"
*Cut to montage of enemies being flung through portals and struck by flying cubes*
"It's nothing personal."
*Cut to Chell flinging herself through multiple portals*
"I do what I have to to survive."
*Cut to Team Fortress 3 logo and theme music*
YOU ARE READING
Portal Oneshots
FanfictionA collection of short stories inspired by one of my favourite games of all time. Some will be set in the continuity of my other stories (like Suddenly Wheatley and Human Condition), some will be AU, and there might even be a crossover sprinkled here...
