I hate how Jimmy and I left things yesterday. I never would have said any of that if I knew it would upset him. And I wish I had the chance to explain. We're probably never going to see each other again now. And if we do, it's going to be awkward as fuck.
If it was anybody else, I'd just move on but....I can't with Jimmy. I don't know what it is but, the thought of never seeing him again literally pains me- my heart aching. I've never felt this way about anyone before.
I'm still not back to work, which only means all I can do is overthink everything by myself in my apartment all day. So in need of a major distraction, I turn to Hanna.
I show up at the diner after the lunch rush and sit in a booth in her section for hours. Hanna talks to me between customers, refilling my coke when it's low. I fill her in on the furnace issue at the daycare and how someone finally started renting the apartment below me, avoiding the Jimmy topic as best as I can. And Hanna tells me stories from her job.
"And then some cops came through for doughnuts and coffee, you know?" she says, as she busses the table next to me, "And just as I come over with a dozen glazed and a fresh pot, they get a call about some shooting over on Grand River Ave and just take off."
"Someone got shot?" Somehow news like this is still shocking to me. My mind races, thinking of everyone I know who could be involved. The list is short and all unlikely, but still...
"Well, shot themselves. One of the cops came back like an hour later for their order. He said the guy almost shot his dick off." she laughs. I do too- at first. But then I just feel bad.
"Why would someone do that?" I question.
She shrugs, "Some people are idiots."
And when her shift is over, trading off with another waitress before the dinner rush, we get in her car to drive to my place.
On the way though, Hanna asks if I wouldn't mind stopping at one of her friend's so she could pick something up. I tell her it's fine. It's not like I would complain when someone is giving me a ride anyways. When Hanna pulls up to a familiar residence though, I'm disappointed.
"Wink's?" I groan. She didn't tell me on purpose, I know it.
"Yeah." She says sheepishly, "He got me some time with a photographer and printed out the pictures for my modeling book- I told you that, right? We're just gonna go over some things. It'll be real quick, I promise."
"As long as it's quick."
"Girl, what's your issue with him anyways?" She laughs. "Did he run over your cat or something?"
"No...I just...forget it." I sigh, not wanting to get into it and not wanting to lie and dig myself deeper into a hole. "Let's go."
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