~Friday~
Tessa's POV
I've been crying all night. I cried so much, by morning I thought there couldn't possible be anymore tears left in me to shed. But when Hanna came knocking on my door, ready to drive me to drop food off at a sick Mrs Helgeland's- something I had completely forgotten about- a new wave of tears formed and I was breaking down into her arms.
Hanna phoned Gabi immediately, needing back up I guess. I can understand. They've never had a situation with me before. It's usually Gabi having meltdowns, and every once in a while Hanna after a fight with her unsupportive parents. But never me. Not like this.
I tell them everything as they sit at the kitchen counter while I quickly put together some soup. I need to do something productive and I still need to bring something to Mrs Helgeland. I start from the beginning, when I first met Wink. And I finish by telling them everything that happened last night, after Jimmy discovered the truth. I explain everything, feeling no better now that it's all off my chest. I screwed everything up.
"But we're going to work this out. I'm going to talk to Jimmy and he'll see! I'm going to set this all straight and everything will be fine again." I say to my friends, but it's like I'm trying to convince myself more than them. They both nod their heads at me, neither looking too sure. I stop cooking with a sigh, loosing even more hope. "I don't know what I'm going to do if he doesn't want to be with me anymore."
"You know what? No. If he doesn't want to be with you over this, then fuck him." Hanna says before I can say anything else, "Seriously, you haven't even done anything wrong. How were you suppose to know four years ago every single person your future boo is friends with? That's completely irrational. He has no right to be treating you this way." Gabi nods in agreement.
"But I kept it from him." I have done something wrong. I cared so much about what other people would think of me that I tried to cover it up. I could have told Jimmy so many times but I didn't. I handled it all wrong.
"Has he told you everyone he's slept with? Have you both had a conversation about everyone you've both fucked and you purposely named everybody but Wink?" She asks, and I shake my head. "Then he needs to get the fuck over it."
"But what if he can't get over it? He didn't want to talk to me, he could barely even look at me. What if this has ruined everything?"
Hanna shakes her head, "Then you're better off without him. Seriously, Tessa. He's being an asshole. He has no right to be mad at you for who you've slept with before him. You had a whole life before him. Don't let him make you feel bad about that. If he can't get over it- forget him."
Gabi adds, "I agree with Hanna. If he can't handle knowing you had sex with someone besides him years before you met him, then he's not worth your time."
I stop what I'm doing and think about that for a moment. Not worth my time? Better off without him? Forget him?
Never.
"But...but what if I love him?" I say quietly, wiping away a stray tear.
Gabi and Hanna glance at each other, then Hanna says softly, "Tess...It's only been a couple of days. You hardly know him, you can't already be in love with him."
"Well it's not that you can't be in love with him. It's just...this isn't like you, you know? I mean, you're sounding more like me than you." Gabi smiles a little, "We haven't known you to look at any guy twice and now you're saying you're in love with one you just met. So...are you sure?"
