I didn't get the chance to do this yesterday so imma do it now. Yesterday was awful. I couldn't do anything right and I kept screwing up everything. In my English class we're using play-doh for an assignment, and I tried three times to do something I did easily the day before and failed all three times. The first one looked beautiful (at least to other people) and then yesterday I failed so much.
Then came my band class, which I play the flute in. I failed. At everything. My fingers moved too slowly, I missed so many accidentals, and failed at the high notes. Playing mary poppins music is pretty fun until you hit the ridiculous sixteenth note runs on the last page with several accidentals.
Then came pe. My class has to do eight laps outside to get an a. I have been getting closer to ten each week, so I decided to challenge myself and see if I could do fifteen. I didn't make it. I failed cause I didn't try hard enough. I didn't work hard enough.
Then came tennis practice. I worked on my serves the entire time (1 and 1/2 hours). I only made 1/8 of all of them in and I couldn't. I could feel all of the fails catching up to me. I couldn't deal with it. I didn't go to the touch the fence game because I had to get my serves in, but even then I failed.
After practice. I have a group chat with some other members of the team, and we learned about districts that day. One of them was disappointed that she plays third singles, and everyone went to her aid. I went from being first girls singles to a doubles player, went from "your my best girl" to "I don't know who your partner is going to be". I almost started crying three times during practice.
I went home and got in trouble again. For something my brother did. Again.
Yesterday I was so close to breaking and no one noticed. I shouldn't expect them to, why would they. I'm just a background character.
