Chapter 6 - To be great, slay your fears!

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Every single successful person has fears, and every single unsuccessful person has fears. So, what is the difference? Successful people all over the world have realized that what they want the most, lies right behind what they fear the most, and only one agenda will win. The truth is that our fears will win, or we will. It is that simple.

When you ask most people about what they fear the most, and I have, you almost always hear the same thing. They say they are afraid to fail. They are afraid to try to go after something great and to not make it. They say they are afraid of trying because they don't know what they would do if they tried and didn't make it. This is all summed up as they are afraid of failure.

But to me, this is the biggest lie we all tell ourselves. Because if we don't try, if we don't go after our dreams, we are already a failure. Is this harsh? Yes, it is. But I believe only when we are brutally honest with ourselves will we ever move forward. Only if we can truly see ourselves and our worldly limitations will we have the chance to break through. Only brutal honesty works, so use it here.

If we aren't afraid of failure, what exactly is our biggest fear? I believe what really holds us back, what stops most people in their track and derails more dreams, is actually the opposite. I believe what most people fear is actually the fear of success.

Think about it for a minute. Who hasn't failed in life? Who hasn't gotten a bad grade, failed a test, failed at a relationship, or been knocked down by life? We actually have a lot more experience with failure than we do with great levels of success. Of course, this may not be true for everyone, I do believe it is true for most people.

Why would we fear success you may be asking? Because what happens with success is we are now out in what feels like the open waters. We are floating in the unknown, in the uncharted sea. We are at a level higher than others we had been floating with before. We may be earning more money, be at a higher position, be more respected. All of a sudden, we are standing out, and with standing out comes pressure. What kind of pressure? When all eyes are on you, there is pressure to perform, pressure to continue to outdo yourself. Standing out comes with a new level of expectation that if you aren't prepared can cause you to crumble.

We have heard the term "one hit wonder" that I think is a horrible expression that should be struck from human vocabulary and every other expression like it. It signifies a person who created one great musical hit and none others followed. I believe the world's negative system loves this expression because it pulls someone who reached a higher than average level back to the mediocrity it loves.

Most people do not want you to outdo them. I am being kind using the word most because actually there are few who want you to rise to greatness. Accept this and welcome with open arms those who do. The reason this is true is that human nature makes us comfortable around people who are like us. I don't believe people are cruel or unkind by nature, but I do believe like normally produces like.

There is the Hawaiian legend of the black crab. It says if you put a bunch of black crabs in a basket they will all walk around and around the bottom until one sees a way over the top. Just when the one is almost over, the others instead of joining in, or helping him reach the other side, instead pull the crab back down to the bottom. This is unfortunately what many of us do to each other too.

To slay your fears and reach your destiny you need to be really clear of what those fears are. Maybe for you, it is failure, but maybe it is really achieving a higher level of success than anyone else you know. In my life, I realized this was my fear and had to challenge it head-on. Because what midlife taught me is that I would never have peace without it. I would never figure out what I was made of and I would never fulfill my destiny if I didn't.

Jesus said to fear not because he is with us. I can promise you that walking on your destined path will at times feel very lonely. There will be times when you feel like there is not another person who understands. But what I know with certainty is that you are never truly alone, and with that understanding, your fears can be slain, and you can take the position you are destined to take.

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