the boy who was afraid of the dark

tuesday 17:14, eliott

lucas said that he needed to go check something, that yann was making him.
he told me to wait there, but he seemed on edge, and there was no way i was just gonna wait here while he looked like that.

so, despite his protests, i walked rather quickly with him out of the library and down the hallways to where yann said to go.

when we turned into the hallway, we were greeted by yann, basile, and arthur huddled around lucas' locker.
"yann," lucas called. "we were working on chemistry. what's the problem?"

yann picked his head up and looked at lucas, then uncomfortably at me.
then he looked back to lucas, "i didn't know he was here."

"what?" lucas pressed.

"nothing," yann motioned for basile and arthur to back up. "it's just..."

with their distance, they finally revealed what they were hiding.

i felt the horror and mortification creep up onto my face. this quickly turned into confusion, then sadness, then extreme anger, then all at once.

  i couldn't believe this was really happening. that someone actually did this. on purpose. this wasn't a nightmare, or bad dream. this was real. this was happening. and i couldn't make it not happen.

in big, red letters, the word "FAG" was painted across his locker.

i turned my eyes to lucas, who stared at it with broken eyes. his face was empty, but i could see in his throat that we was swallowing a lump.

he kept carrying his eyes up and down the locker, as if inspecting every ridge and particle of the permanent red spray paint.

he didn't flinch. or move. just stared with dread.

i finally decided to step in and cover the locker with my body, "don't look at it."

his eyes fell down to the floor, and we stared at him, waiting for some word.

"who said that?" basile broke the silence. "it's not even true!"

i was the only one who caught lucas' eyes quickly flash up to mine before they dropped down again.

"open it," arthur encouraged. "maybe they left a note."

  i shot him a warning look. if lucas opened it i knew there would be something in there. i knew who it was. i knew everything. but i couldn't admit it to myself, much less to lucas.

  "you don't need to." i told him, but i couldn't meet his eyes because he was still looking down.

  without lifting his head, he pushed past me and opened the locker.

  just as i expected, a note fell out.

  "don't read it, lucas." i warned. i knew it would say something bad. i knew i didn't want anyone to read that letter.

  yann looked up at me suspiciously, then back over lucas' shoulder as he unfolded the note.

i didn't want to watch his face as he read it, so i turned my back on him.
but i heard his voice.

"i warned you, demaury. i gave you a choice. you blocked me. this is not over. i know your secret, pretty boy. we win either way. now your little fag gets it."

i didn't turn around. i stood facing away from them.
i didn't move, flinch, think. i just repeated the words. over and over again in my head. i felt them, inhaled them.

he threatened to out me, but he never said SHIT about hurting lucas.
that's a whole different way to attack me. a whole other level.

"wait," basile cut in. "what's this talking about? what does it mean?

silence.

"lucas," arthur continued. "who is this from? why did they call you eliott's 'little fag'?"

yann quickly spoke his word, "but, you don't have to answer that. we just need to know who this is. the letter is written in magazine cut outs, and i swear bro that's what stalkers do."

slowly, i turned around.
lucas stared at the letter with slight horror. yann had a gentle hand placed on his shoulder.

"eliott," lucas finally growled. "what the fuck is this?"

he lifted his head, and i had to see the pain in his eyes that i was so intent on avoiding.

i opened my mouth, but failed to form words.
i was terrified.

my phone buzzed.
  my heart stopped.
  i knew.
i carefully brought it up to view.

when i opened messages, i was greeted with a picture. over a month ago, when me and lucas were making out in the bathroom before my bluebridge match.
the picture looked like it was taken from right over a stall.

i stared at it.
this was no longer just me and lucas.
  this was everyone.
this was my biggest fear.

"fuck," i mumbled. "fuck. fuck! FUCK! i KNEW someone took a picture!"

i chucked my phone on the floor, and paced back and forth with my hands in my hair.

"lucas, i'm so sorry." i mumbled through very incoherent words.

through the peeps in my fingers, i saw yann carefully pick up my phone, and slowly begin to turn it over.

i didn't even have the mind to stop him. neither did lucas, who was now slumped against the lockers, looking up at the ceiling and battling tears.

  i dropped my hands, and went over to sit next to him. he leaned in towards me, so i wrapped my arm around his curled up figure.

  he didn't look up, but i had to to see the faces of his three best friends.

  they looked confused, but not angry or upset.
  "so that's...you two?" arthur look at the picture then pointed to the two of us.

  lucas nodded.

  "oh," basile nodded. "so you're...together?"

  i nodded.

  "how long?" basile asked.
  "like, two months." i mumbled.

  "two months?! jesus?! how did i not know?!" arthur exclaimed.

  he shook his head as basile placed a hand on his shoulder.
  "we're happy for you two." basile smiled encouragingly.

  i realized that yann hadn't said anything, so i finally turned my gaze over to him.

  he was staring at the picture with a huge, goofy smile on his face.

  "yann? anything to say?" arthur nudged him.
  yann broke away from the picture, but didn't lose the goofy smile. he looked from me to lucas back to me back to lucas.

  "gay rights!" he pumped his fist in the air.

finally, what i'd been waiting for all day:
lucas snorted and cracked an embarrassed smile through his tears.