The day he got married ~{AusSwiss/Edelweiss}~

6

The door fell shut and it grew quiet again in the house. Roderich felt horrible and his heart slowly started to remember all those feelings he had tried to hide.... The love, the jealousy he had felt when his friend was french and the despair and fear of getting hated by his childhood love. All those things he had tried to hide and forget came back all at once and hit him deeply inside. He was going to just turn around and sit back on the couch when I voice suddenly talked to him.

"I'm sorry Herr Edelstein.... I was waiting for you on the staircase and then just......fell asleep. I heard voices, is big brother back...?" The little girl that had totally been forgotten asked as she softly held onto the aristocrat's sleeve. The man gulped hoping she hadn't heard too much of his conversation with the Swiss. Roderich couldn't just say nothing when he got a stare that resembled the one of a puppy so he sighed.

"He went home...... Your home, Lilly. He's back so you don't have to worry anymore, okay?" He asked as he knelt down and looked into her eyes. He could see the look of confusion in her orbs since she was sure to have heard her brother earlier but after a few seconds her face lit up. "Thank you! Thank you very much....!" The little girl then yelled as he hugged the Austrian tightly. Roderich didn't mind the warmth at all. In fact he was rather happy to feel it since he was about to cry. He knew he was supposed to be marrying the Spaniard but.....his heart just couldn't.... Of course he liked the Spanish man but not in that way. Not in that passionate and longing way as he felt towards the always bad tempered Swiss.

He hugged the girl back feeling a little better now. He still had a lot of things going through his mind regarding the whole event and his concrete feelings and what he wanted to do with them. ".....thanks..." he mumbled just loud enough for her to hear. She didn't understand why but she also did not question it any further. They both stayed like that for a few seconds more mostly because the Austrian just seemed to need it. Even if it couldn't replace a tender hug of the Swiss he enjoyed it and calmed down.

"Shouldn't you be going now...? I bet your brother's worrying about you" the man said before standing up again and handing her an umbrella that was standing not too far away from them. "You can...." he stopped for a moment and thought again for a bit "tell your brother to bring it back to me later...." the aristocrat then finally told the girl. Of course Roderich knew Vash was probably just going to leave the umbrella in front of the door but maybe if he added that that umbrella was precious to him..... Maybe just maybe he could make the Swiss come to him like that. Even though it sounded completely stupid he was sure he wasn't going to be let in, in Vash's house after this and also he'd refuse every invitation to finally talk about things. About the things that had been bothering them and their relationship together.

He truly felt anxious thinking he'd loose his....his love like that.

A few hours had passed since the Swiss and the young girl had left the Austrians house and the aristocrat was just sitting on his sofa. He had been thinking about things and decisions he had made. For him it was clear that his marriage with Spain would only serve political purposes but...how did Spain think about that? He didn't want to break his heart with something as stupid as his first love. He couldn't just walk up and ask the Spaniard about such a delicate matter that was clear but....he needed to know. He needed to know if he could still.....still stop the marriage. He'd also pay for all the costs but he just didn't want to get it any worse in his relationship with the Swiss. Now that he finally knew the other had liked him it kinda was easier for him to accept that he got selfish. Selfish in only wanting to monopolize the green eyed boy. But even if he could manage to call the marriage off in time...Vash wouldn't forgive him.

But he especially didn't want to risk it anymore that his Swiss had to go through pain again. Emotional or physical pain didn't matter. When the Austrian had married Hungary he truly felt something for her and it was a good time but he ended up falling for the Swiss again. Almost if it were destiny. He wanted to reach out to the Swiss and apologize since the boy had been going through a lot back then. He remembered clearly that as he was searching Vash back then he found him hungry in a corner of a run down barn. It was a horrible sight to see how each and every bone shone through the pale skin. Even when the Austrian insisted in taking him home with him, Switzerland had refused. And he knew exactly why. It wasn't because the Swiss was neutral back then. He'd probably would've gone with anyone except Roderich. Because the Swiss was scared to get controlled again.

There had been a long time where the HRE would think Austria and Switzerland were the same country. And thus Austria treated Switzerland as his own territory. It went well at first but at some point....he hadn't noticed that he was practically holding him prisoner.

The Austrian sighed and rolled to his side to forget about things a little as he felt his eyes getting wet. He missed the Swiss so incredibly much and would do anything to hug him at that moment. Anything to be able to snuggle up to him. Anything to see his beautiful green orbs again. Just anything.