Tattoos (Lams coffee shop AU)

Acceptance? (XII)

A/N: I'm randomly thinking about every embarrassing message I've ever sent to these group chats I'm in *couch couch hi Ellie and anyone else who's reading this and is in the gcs* and honestly this is torture.

Oh and one other thing, the only problem and I mean the only problem with gay fanfics is the pronouns are the same so sometimes it gets confusing who you're talking about so then you have to use their names so much it gets kinda awkward and ahh sksks

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John woke up, once again feeling the comfortable weight of someone else in his arms. He kept his eyes closed for as long as he could, trying to imagine that it was a woman in his arms. That he wasn't just some useless fa-

"John?" Alexander whispered quietly. "Are you awake?" 

Suddenly, John forgot about his wish to have a woman in his arms. "Mmm..." He murmured tiredly as he nuzzled his face into the crook of Alex's neck. Might as well make this moment last, since every fiber in his body was screaming that once he was fully awake, he had to stop, that this would just get him hurt, kicked out, abused, hated.

A bright blush bloomed across Alexander's face and after a moment, he had to remind himself to breathe.

This was new. John showing any affection towards him while sober. But Alexander was definitely not complaining, but instead was enjoying every second of it.

"Alex" John whispered after a moment, his lips moving against Alex's neck. "I have to..." He lost his train of thought as he nearly dozed off again for a moment, but he mentally shook himself awake. "I have to be an asshole again..."

Alexander's heart sank. "John-"

"I'm sorry"

As much as it pained him to, Alex wriggled out of John's arms and sat up. "John, please. Just drop the act. For me. Please"

John sat up as well and ran a hand through his messy poof of hair. "I want to, but-"

"What's stopping you then?"

"...My dad finding out." John answered truthfully as he stared down at his dark grey sheets.

"John"

Why did it sound so right every time Alexander said his name? "Yeah?"

And then suddenly the space between them was no longer there, and their lips were pressed together for a bit longer than an innocent kiss lasts.

Alexander was the first to pull away. "Did you like that?" He asked bluntly.

"I-well- damn... Yeah."

"Do you like me?"

John shook his head, but in a resigned way, that instead of saying 'no,' said, 'I can't'

Alexander understood. "I'm not asking if it's okay for you to like me, I'm asking if you do. Because I'm not going to keep chasing after a straight guy." (couch couch, unlike James Charles)

"And what if I do? As far as I know, we both have girlfriends."

"What? Oh.. Eliza's not.. we're not..."

"You fucked her." He pointed out.

"Eloquent choice of words, Laurens."

John shook his head again. "I'm serious, though. What about Eliza?"

"We're not dating." Alex replied simply, lifting and dropping one shoulder. "And you and what's-her-face?"

"I don't actually like her."

"So it's settled, then."

John got up and searched for his hair brush and beanie. "Is it? Because everything still feels pretty damn confusing to me."

"What's there to be confused about? You break up with that one girl, I make sure Eliza knows we're not in a relationship, and then we can be together"

John considered it for a moment. "Alex, I... I want to be with you... it's just..." He trailed off.

Alexander's heart sped up slightly. "It's just...?"

"If my dad finds out..."

"How often do you see your dad?"

John rolled his eyes. "Like, never."

"Then I doubt he'll find out"

John thought about that, then paused his search to kiss Alex again. He pulled away first, smiling. "You're right"

Alex smiled back. "I know I am."

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A/N: This chaparoo is a bit shorter than usual, but an update is better than no update, right? :)