Alexander

Part 2

I love Jasper. His gave me the hope the love and acceptance what I had missed all my ife.Or you can say I loved him when he was alive.

When he finished high school se came to california to collage . He was studying law and I was studying chemistry and working from beside it to give my little baby girl everything I was missing even my time. I never want her to go trough what I went trough. Jasper understood it.

We became girlfriend and boyfriend once he moved to Cali and soon we moved in. 3 Years later we got engaged and year after we were married as he was working as a lawyer and got good money when I worked as a teacher because I loved to communicate with teenagers and I try to help as much as I can as their class teacher and assuring everybody who I had ever lessons with that I'm there for them because I have a past and I wanna use it to help others so they would never feel the way I did 5 years ago.

Me and Jasper has a son together. It's kinda the reason why we decided to have simple wedding or I did because I told him I was pregnant in our wedding after we had said our "I do"s . I was so happy that day. He was happy. Everything was now perfect in my life. I lost my fear of always thinking that if something very good happens or everything is normal then soon something bad is coming.

Now it's back....

I was 4 months pregnant when turned out that Jasper has lung cancer. He was smoking but I don't think that's the reason. But the time we found out it was too late. He used chemo but it didn't work and soon after the birth of his son he was taken away from me.

He died yesterday and I couldn't understand why he was taken away from me. I still can't. He was my saviour. My beloved one my husband and God still thought he doesn't deserve to live long life after everything he has been trough. I saw him suffer everyday before that I knew he had problems and pains in lungs but still he could assure me everytime that everything is fine until he passed put and I called for ambulance and then it turned out.

I was so sad that day but this is worse. We tried always to act as he's not dying. We didn't say our goodbyes. We told we loved each other and he promised to be there for the birth of our son. Yes he was but he was in bed locked into wires and machines and the moment he was born Jasper had passed away.

Now I have to do the funeral and I just can't. I feel so broken. I just gave birth and now I have to plan my husband's funeral. It's not fair..

Why he had to leave me? Leave us!