Twins

10. Luka

As I sit alone in the middle of the night, Lukas fast asleep on his own bed, I try not to let my feelings creep up on me, When I am alone, I can feel and see thoughts that are uncomfortable and hard to understanding. Visions show me what could have been and it makes me feel so alone. Normally it doesn't take much to feel my connection with Lukas, not it only feels skin deep.

It makes me feel so alone. I peak at his bed again and again, thinking over and over. I both want to be alone and be so much closer to him, stuck in my own confusion. I've tried not to show it but I know I was never good at hiding my own feelings. 

Lukas has been there, probably scared of the way I've been acting. I don't want to be such a bother to my cute little brother. In this life, I am so much happier to have his presence. Knowing what could happen if he wasn't there scares me. Although I don't know if that was really me, I don't want to think about the possibility.

I hug my arms and close my eyes tight, trying to get to sleep. It's all so confusing. Nothing was so confusing when I was a cat. I could mind myself and never have to worry about the world. All I had to care about was food and finding a good spot to bask in the light.

During warm days I could lay in the grass, limbs out-stretched and mind full of peace. On those rainy days, I would let myself into my neighbor's shed and duck into the large crate filled with leaves. Everyday I would weave within the forests to search for my own food. 

Here, I am safe. I never have to worry about food, company, or a place to live. There is so much more to do and explore. Everyday is a new adventure. The halls go on forever, the gardens are forever full of bright flowers, and Lukas is with me everyday. People are constantly coming and going, whether they be servants or tutors or visitors trying to talk to father or us. Even the animals are entertaining.

Yet, it's not me. It would be so much better if I could do all this, stay with Lukas, explore, talk to people, all of it - as a cat. To walk on four legs and never worry about these problems again. If I wasn't Luka...

But what about Lukas?

Would be the one to deal with my problems? Would he fall out of favor from father if I wasn't there? He's so weak, I doubt he could deal with the troubles that the previous Luka went through.

 What if those horrible demons get him? 

He's so cute! He'd probably be given out to everyone for his absolute adorableness.  I don't quite get why the original Luka was so upset at having sex but if all humans react like that, what would happen to Lukas?

I got up from my bed, shaking. I don't want Lukas to ever go through that. With blanket in hand, I crawl into Lukas's bed, snuggling up to his side. On his chest, I mumble. "I'll protect you, Lukas." Before slowly drifting off to sleep.

  { Author's Note }

I actually rewrote this one. It was originally about 300 words with a different process of thought. However it was all pretty thoughtless and made Luka seemed spoiled. But instead of viewing him as a new part of her life, he's more of an essential in her life. This will probably become a problem down the line but is actually pretty adorable.

You know, even though they aren't identical twins, I'm thinking about making them a two in one package later on in life (for romance). A perk of having Lukas as someone who has already been in a lonely life instead of just a new born is that he won't get too annoyed by Luka's clinginess. She too, is someone important to him. 

Note to self, have bi-male lead. Or female lead, I don't really care which. (also, Lukas was destined to be a bottom anyway). 

Unedited. 610 words.